


Loving Katya

by chantiemaya



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: All girls school, Boarding School, Boston, Catholic Boarding School, Catholic School, F/F, Flirting, HEA, High School, Katya looks like the cherry bomb lip sync, Katya with black hair, Lesbian AU, Love, Loving Annabelle - Freeform, Nuns, Romance, School, Sneaking Around, Teacher-Student Relationship, Trixie looks like T&K show e2, Underage - Freeform, age gap, cis women, katya is underage, no power balance, please read THE WHOLE NOTE, student katya, teacher trixie, trixie is way older
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-03-20 18:06:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13723152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chantiemaya/pseuds/chantiemaya
Summary: Katya is a difficult teen, and her very busy Senator mother sends her to Catholic Boarding school to teach her a lesson. Katya learns a lot, especially from her English Literature teacher, Miss Mattel.Based on the movie 'Loving Annabelle'***EDIT: Please read the FULL note on Chapter 1!!***





	1. You shall have no other gods before Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pinkyshuela](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkyshuela/gifts), [trivialise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trivialise/gifts).



> IMPORTANT! If you're new to this story, please read the full note on Chapter 1 before you read the rest of the story.
> 
> Here are the Trixie and Katya I have in mind for this: https://tinyurl.com/y7mfwb5r
> 
> *DISCLAIMER*  
> This is a work of fiction using characters created by others. I do not own these characters, nor did I get official consent from their owners. The only intent of this work is to entertain readers, not to get any type of financial gain. The acts in this story aren’t necessarily condoned by their creators or by me. Read with caution and read the tags.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katya arrives at a new school and is welcomed by her English Lit teacher and 'dorm parent', Miss Mattel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 24 June 2018: I've added a note inside the first chapter, because it had too many characters to put it here. PLEASE read before you continue.

 

> **Important PSA before you read the rest of the story.**
> 
> In the last two days, I’ve been the target of some hate messages on Tumblr, and this story has been at the center of it. One of the people criticizing this story was open to talk to me and she made me realize I should write this note.
> 
> This story has triggered people to call me a pedophile, and a lot of other nasty things. Earlier this week I uploaded some drabble / unfinished WIPs that I know I won’t finish but still wanted to share. One of them takes place in a prison, and that was what brought on the first post I saw condemning both stories.
> 
> As you might know, Loving Katya is based on a movie, which a lesbian writer/director came up with. The actress was of course not underage, almost didn’t pass for a minor either, but it was implied that she was, as she was in her last year of high school. I watched the movie after two friends asked me to ‘rewrite’ it because they felt the plot had too many holes. It’s basically a love story between two people who met at the wrong time and in the wrong place. I changed a lot of things, but tried to follow the original storyline.
> 
> I don’t usually write teens fics because it doesn’t interest me as much as mature relationships. I also didn’t expect anyone to take offense because it was meant as a joke / parody - I plagiarized about 1/3 of the movie. So I assumed, wrongly, that people would understand my intention and read it with that in mind.
> 
> I want to share my thought process on why I think the original movie or my story can’t be labeled as being pedophilic. This word isn’t something that should be used lightly, and I want to share the basic definition for anyone who might not be aware of it: ‘Pedophilia’ is generally explained by experts as an interest in ‘prepubescent’ children. Meaning 0-14, but more often 10-14 years of age. Regardless of the actual age of a child, a pedophile is not interested in a young woman / man, but a child without mature features. In my story, Katya looks and acts older than she is, which wouldn’t make her interesting to Trixie if she had pedophilic tendencies.
> 
> Secondary to that, there is no abuse. Everything is consensual and, like in the movie, the student takes most of the initiative. I made the student only 3 months away from turning 18, which makes her ‘legal’. Both of the characters know that what they are doing is wrong and then put a halt to it until after the girl graduates.
> 
> What I failed to see when I wrote it, was the fact that even though Katya was of legal age, the age gap was still way too big for a 17 year old. But even if I’d made the teacher younger (which I didn’t do for the sake of the original storyline), there was another factor that I didn’t regard, and that’s power dynamics. Meaning, a person in a position of power over another person, should never engage in anything romantic or sexual with someone who is under their power. This goes for any situation: an employer, a doctor, any other type of caregiver - basically when they get to decide things about someone, they should not engage in romance / sex with that person because of the power balance.
> 
> On this topic, I again assumed that readers would understand that this is fiction and it’s not something that should happen in real life. People have accused me of being irresponsible towards the young readers on the fanfic platforms by sharing this story with them. I know that many of you are young, possibly underage, probably not ‘allowed’ to read this, but I don’t want to shut out anyone. Everybody’s sexuality matures at different times, may it be at 15 or 26, or maybe you will realize at 31 that you are not into it at all. And even if you’re not ready to engage yet, I encourage young people to explore their sexuality in other ways, for example by reading fanfiction, watching shows that involve romance and relationships and so on. In our heteronormative society, we don’t always get a chance to see the kind of relationships we might be interested in - especially if you’re young and maybe not sure yet which box to place yourself in. In that way, fiction can be helpful to explore romance without engaging in it yourself. Mainstream media still does a bad job of portraying LGBTQ relationships.
> 
> **But I need you to understand that I do not condone the relationship in this story.** It is NOT OK for teachers to seek romance with their students. It happens often that teens get romantic feelings for teachers or other people in authoritative places, but that doesn’t make it right. The fact that everything Katya did in the story was consensual, and was sought out by her, does not make it ok for Trixie to answer to it. Trixie as the teacher has a power over Katya, which makes it impossible for them to ever be equal - so the consent loses its value. Even if Katya took the first step and was very blunt in her persuasion of Trixie.
> 
> So the parts that were criticized are: an adult having sexual relations with a minor, the age gap is too big, the power play and sharing this story with younger readers who might then think it’s ok to engage in romance with their teachers. I really want to believe that all of you are are smart enough to know that it’s not ok, but here we are.
> 
> Another point that was brought up was whether or not we should write about certain kinks. Let me make this very clear: **pedophilia is not a kink** . It’s a crime, it’s largely seen as an illness, and it should never be accepted. Power play and age play / age gap however, can be seen as kinks - although again, this is about **consenting adults** , which means 18 and up.
> 
> On the other hand, trying to police fanfiction topics / kinks / tropes / ships etc. is defying the whole purpose of fanfiction. Fanfiction gets a lot of shit for touching on taboo topics, but that’s exactly what it’s for. It’s partly for people whose thoughts and feelings don’t fly in the normative society, and so they get to live their fantasies through fiction. It’s always been on the fringe of things, and there is a great diversity of different topics that fanfic touches on, much more so than in mainstream fiction. Some people write to process their own feelings and struggles, and in that way it’s therapeutic to them to get it all out. Some people use fanfiction to live out their fantasies, and it doesn’t mean they actually do those things in real life. **A writer is not their story**. We can write kinks just because it’s fun to write them, or to deliver an underlying message, or because we don’t want to live out that kink in real life. I am not straight, but I have only dated men, and right now I’m not attracted to anyone at all. Yet I’ve written WLW romance for fun and people enjoyed it, which has always been my only goal.  
> 
> I think there should be a place for all kinks in fanfiction, may it be power play or piss or humiliation or furries, or whatever people come up with. We should respect people’s kinks. It’s not our business what they do in their daily life - taking into account that they are consenting adults - but again, pedophilia is not a kink.
> 
> **Minors reading fanfic are not the writer’s responsibility.** We tag, we put disclaimers, we can write long author's notes, but teens will find it and they will read it. The argument of people being offended by fanfic is not valid. If they chose to read it, that’s on them. If I come across a kink I don’t like, I will just leave. No need to condemn the author and all their readers for liking what they like. Nobody took offense in the adultery Trixie did in one of my others stories, but I don’t expect all of them to condone it in real life.
> 
> People are angry, they are offended and they don’t like it. All of that is valid, these are their feelings and I respect them. But you can have different opinions and still be civil about it. Calling people names, ganging up on someone and refusing a conversation is not constructive. If you want people to see your point, you should find a way to engage and not just throw insults at them. That’s why I initially got really angry when someone ‘vague posted’ about me and suggested I shouldn’t be allowed to write. It bothers me that this person chose to not talk to me directly, but instead threw some negativity onto their dashboard. I was hurt and lashed out, which of course was stupid (I did exactly what I just said wasn’t right) because that brought on a real shit storm.
> 
> I hope you have read all of this note and understand why I had to write it. I want to show that although I don’t agree with all of the points I’ve been criticized on, I see now why people got upset - and I only got to learn and grow because there was one lovely person nice enough to have a conversation with me.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Chantie

 

* * *

 

Saint Margaret’s School for Girls is a Catholic boarding school on the outskirts of Boston, run by Mother Cecilia Clare. It’s a small private school, and most of the teachers are nuns - all but one.

“Miss Mattel!” Mother Cecilia Clare’s voice is shrill in the hallway just after the bell has rung and all classroom doors open simultaneously. The girls leave the classrooms single file in relative silence. One teacher’s head whips around, the one who’s not in a nun’s uniform and wears makeup. The blonde one with the big hair.

“There’s a new student waiting outside, she’s in your dorm. Please show her around.”

Beatrice Elizabeth Mattel is thirty two years old, has two academic degrees, and keeps excellent order in all of her classes of rowdy teenagers without using any form of force, but Mother Cecilia Clare has the ability to bring her to her knees with just her cold grey eyes. Trixie, as she likes her friends to call her, nods without saying anything, but the Mother has already walked on, head raised high, girls around her silent.

Trixie marches down the halls on her high heels, threading her way through students, talking to a few of them.

Outside, at the bottom of the steps, sits a girl. There’s a big suitcase on the gravel next to her feet, a duffel bag and a book bag. She has unruly, jet black curls almost down to her waist, and a little cloud of smoke rises up around her. She flicks the cigarette away just as Trixie steps outside.

“Better not let them catch you smoking,” Trixie says softly. The girl scoffs, then turns her head to look where the sound came from. Her bright blue eyes are lined heavily with black liner and her lips are a dark red. Her skin is pale, her forehead a frown.

“You just did,” says the girl, her voice grovely and much older than she can be. She gets up slowly, dread evident in every movement, and challenges Trixie with one eyebrow up.

Trixie descends the steps and takes the girl’s suitcase, then holds out her hand.

“Welcome to Saint Margaret's, I’m Miss Mattel.”

The girl shakes her hand limply.

“Katya Zamolodchikova.”

Trixie tries to hide her double take at the name, and the girl scoffs again, looks her up and down. Trixie is in khaki slacks and a white blouse, her school issued blue vest tied around her shoulders.

“Miss Zamo…”

“...lodchi-kova.”

“Yes, I’ll work on that. Please follow me.”

Trixie lugs the suitcase up the stairs, the girl following her. She’s wearing ripped skinny jeans and a cut off shirt, showing her belly button, with an oversized black jean jacket. There’s a ring on almost every one of her fingers, nails with chipped black polish, and she wears more necklaces and bracelets than Trixie has ever seen on one person.

“This side of the building houses the administrative offices and the dorms. You’ll be in dorm five, which you’ll share with four other girls.”

The girl’s black army boots shuffle on the floor behind Trixie an she hears gum pop. They reach the administration office and the girl signs in and gets her sets of uniforms, and then they’re off to the dorms. The girl doesn’t say much, doesn’t acknowledge Trixie’s explanation of the building and her schedule.

“Here we are, this is your dorm.” Trixie opens the door to a bedroom with five single beds, all with wardrobes next to them. It’s a spacious room, with large windows, and most of the beds are neatly made, the space around them decorated with the girls’ personal items.

“The next door is the bathroom, and the one at the end of the hall is where I live. I am your dorm parent. If you have any questions, or you want to talk about something, you can always come by, ok?”

The girl looks up and stares at Trixie, her face completely blank.

“Parent?”

“That’s what we call it. You can talk to me about things you might talk to your parents about if they were here.”

“Well, that’s easy going for you then.” The girl winks. “I don’t talk to my parents.”

Something clicks in Trixie’s brain then, the face of the girl, the timing, but she doesn’t comment. Her intense stare makes Trixie uncomfortable, and she clears her throat.

“Just keep it in mind, Katya. Please change into your uniform and come to the dining hall for dinner. There’s a map of the building on your bed.”

Trixie closes the door behind her and takes a deep breath. This girl is going to be a handful, she can feel it. She pushes her long, blonde curls away from where they stick to her damp neck and straightens her blouse before starting her walk to the dining hall.

In the room, Katya sighs too, and drags her suitcase to the only bed that doesn’t have any decorations around it. She strips to her underwear and looks at the uniform - an undershirt, cotton tights, a white blouse with long sleeves, a grey skirt and a blue vest or sweater. It’s utterly boring, but Massachusetts isn’t warm in February, so Katya has no choice but to wear the tights. She wears the blouse over her black bra and leaves enough buttons open to show off the lace edge and showcase all of her necklaces, and ignores the school issued leather shoes. She shuffles through the halls on her untied boots, phone tucked in her bra, map in hand.

The dining hall is almost full when Katya arrives, and she spots Miss Mattel at the faculty table. She’s the only one in ordinary day clothes, all of the nuns are in uniform, their skirts either over the knee or floor length, some wearing a scarf over their hair. Katya stands in line for the food, eyeing the girls around her. They are all bland and boring, just like the food, most of them throwing her scared looks.

“I like your shoes,” a voice behind Katya says. She turns around slowly while waiting for her plate, that a server is filling with mashed potatoes and some greens. She sees the first girl that’s not completely boring - at least she’s wearing good makeup and has tried to bump up her uniform. Somehow her blouse is a lot tighter than Katya’s. She also wears her hair in a severe ponytail with sharp bangs on her forehead.

“Thanks,” Katya smirks at her.

“I’m Violet. I think you’re in my dorm.”

Violet is tall and skinny, and pale like Katya. She’s beautiful and interesting, and she follows Katya to an empty table in the back. Katya cuts a piece of her meat and tastes it - bland. Of course.

“You have to wait,” Violet chuckles. Just then, a bell sounds and everybody stands up. On the other end of the room, Katya sees Miss Mattel stand next to the Principal, or Mother, as they call her here. They all bow their heads and recite a prayer that Katya doesn’t know.

Everybody eats, the girls talk in muted tones, sometimes a laugh sounds through the hall, but overall it’s pretty tame. Violet seems to challenge Katya with her eyes, and Katya isn’t sure if she’s flirting or waiting for Katya to start a food fight. Which she isn’t, because she isn’t twelve.

Katya nods over to the faculty table.

“Miss Mattel. She’s our ‘parent’?” Katya makes air quotes with her fingers.

“Yeah, she’s cool. She’s supposed to watch over us and be there for us, or whatever. We’re lucky to have her, the nuns don’t allow anything. She lets us stay up late sometimes.”

Katya stares at Miss Mattel during dinner. She socializes with the sisters, then when she’s done eating she walks around the dining hall, talks to students, and leaves with two girls by her side. She seems to be popular. She’s probably every boarding school lesbian’s first crush, Katya thinks.

After dinner, the girls have free time. Some of them go to the library to study, Katya sits on her bed and listens to music on her phone and texts her friends back home about how incredibly stupid and boring everything is. Violet hangs around, constantly talking on the phone, until it runs out of battery, and then she plugs it in and sits on the floor besides the socket to call back her friend. Their three dorm mates return around half past eight and introduce themselves to Katya.

There’s Dela, with curly dark brown hair and scared eyes.  
Laganja is tall, with gangly limbs and extremely long, blonde hair.  
Jaymes, or Jaymie, is a short, chubby girl with dimples in both cheeks.

“So, like, you’re… Russian?” Jaymie asks Katya, trailing by the edge of her bed.

“My dad.”

“Fuck!” Violet jumps up from the floor, finally done talking on the phone, and stands in the middle of the room.

“You’re that senator’s kid! What’s her name…”

Katya sighs and falls down on the bed, flat on her back, arms out. Here we go.

“Michelle Visage.”

“What? She’s awesome! She could be our first female president one day,” Dela exclaims excitedly.

“Yes! I read about you in the paper.” Violet sits down on Katya’s bed. “What did you do that she shipped you off here? I thought you were living it up in New York City.”

Katya shrugs and stares at the ceiling. “I ran away.”

Katya’s mom is a busy woman, she’s always working. Katya didn’t think she’d miss her, as everything Katya does is always wrong, and her mom never has time for her, and her dad isn’t even living with them anymore. Who cares where she is?

“You did?” Laganja comes closer. “Where’d you go?”

“I went to my girlfriend. She has her own place.”

The girls stay silent and wait for more. Katya sits up, cross-legged in the middle of the bed, and feels her skin prickle with all the attention on her.

“She’s in college.”

“And you’re friends with her?”

Katya chuckles and cocks her head to the side.

“A little more than friends.”

The girl frowns, and Violet claps her hands.

“A lesbian, finally! I thought I was the only one in the school.”

“You’re into girls?”

“Well. I like boys, too,” Violet says seriously, pulling some lint off of Katya’s duvet.

“Ok. Well. Yeah. I stayed with my girlfriend, but we got into a fight, and then I had nowhere to go. My mom came to get me and… she sent me here.”

The girls are starting to change into their pyjamas and the room is silent while they process all this new information.

“Welcome to dorm five,” Dela says.

“Thanks,” Katya says with a smirk. These girls might seem boring, but at least they’re not mean.

There’s a knock on the door then, and the gangly blonde one answers. It’s Miss Mattel.

“Ladies, can I come in? How are we doing? Have you welcomed Katya?”

She’s changed into jeans and a pink knit sweater. Katya stares again, she can’t help it. She notices Miss Mattel’s eyes are a soft brown, when they meet Katya’s blue ones.

All the girls get up and gather around their teacher, talking over each other, looking at her like she’s some kind of angel. Maybe she is. She’s beautiful, Katya thinks, and feels her cheeks burn with the thought.

Miss Mattel wishes them goodnight and warns them it’s thirty minutes to lights out. She closes the door behind her, and everybody starts to get ready for bed.

Katya stands in the hallway waiting to use the bathroom when Trixie comes back from a short talk to Mother Cecilia Clare. She promised to talk to the new student about her way of dressing, and now sees her leaning against the wall by the bathroom, toiletries bag in hand. She’s wearing tight red boxer shorts and an oversized black tank top, and nothing else. Her toenails are dark red, and her body is slim and muscled, with a tight, round ass and well developed quads.

Trixie takes a steadying breath before she speaks.

“Katya?”

The girl turns around, her messy black hair sticking to her face. She wipes at her eyes quickly, but Trixie isn’t fooled that easily.

“Can we have a talk?” Trixie’s voice has softened now that she sees that she’s been crying. Katya nods and follows her to the suite.

Trixie’s suite consists of a small living room with a kitchenette and a bedroom with an attached bathroom. It’s not much, but she’s made it her own, and she loves the cosy space.

“Are you ok?” Trixie sits down on her couch, but Katya stays standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed. Her nipples poke through her shirt and Trixie has to will herself to look at her face. The dark makeup has smudged around her eyes, and she shrugs and sniffs.

“I don’t want to be here.”

“I got that much. It’s just for a few months, right? Make sure you get good grades, graduate, and you’re done.” Trixie smiles, tries to convey that she really means well, but Katya doesn’t look at her, just nods.

“I have to tell you that your jewelry is violating our dress code. And so is… this.” Trixie nods in Katya’s general direction.

Katya’s face changes from sad to angry in an instant, and her eyes shoot fire at Trixie.

“What? Should I wear a habit and a big cross around my neck? I’m not even catholic.” She scoffs again.

“A habit is a bit of a stretch. If you save the jewelry for free time and wear your undershirt, I think you’ll be fine. And use a bathrobe.”

“Does it make you uncomfortable?”

Trixie’s hands have started to sweat and she swallows.

“We have a dress code. I advise you follow it, because I don’t think you can afford to be expelled again.”

Katya’s eyes narrow at Trixie, and Trixie’s heart speeds up. Katya is fuming, her face turning red. She doesn’t say anything, looks Trixie up and down again, turns on her heel and leaves. She at least has the decency to not slam the hardwood door on her way out.

*

Katya spends the first couple of days at her new school getting lost in the building and trying to remember everyone’s name. The only names she doesn’t have any trouble with are Violet and Miss Mattel, or Trixie, as some girls call her during free time. Katya can’t help but like her just as much as the other girls, maybe more. Maybe a lot more. She catches herself daydreaming about her English Lit teacher.

On the weekend, the girls get to do sports, study and of course get free time, but they are not allowed to leave the campus unsupervised. The tall, blonde Laganja has been on a trip to the mall with a group of girls and nuns, and comes back to their room with heated pink cheeks. Katya is in there alone, and Laganja drops a small paper bag in her lap. Katya looks up from her book, and studies the bag - weed.

“What? Where did you get this?”

“A friend of mine met me at the mall. We’re gonna smoke it tonight in the basement.” Laganja takes back the bag and winks as she hides it under her mattress.

That evening after dinner, the girls all sneak out of their room. All five of them are in on the secret and agreed to join, and Katya is surprised. Dorm room loyalty apparently goes pretty far.

At the other end of their hallway, there’s a door that says ‘Storage’, and it leads directly to a staircase. The basement stores furniture mostly, and the girls have made a cosy seating area. There are even candles, glasses and a few bottles of alcohol in there. There are small windows lining the ceiling of the basement, proving fresh air.

“What the…” Katya looks around in awe.

“Our secret little hideout.” Dela says with a smile, and she sits down on one of the couch cushions on the floor. Katya lights the candles, and they pass around a bottle of lukewarm white wine and all takes sips. Laganja rolls a blunt and lights up.

“So… Miss Mattel seems to like you,” Violet says after taking a drag from the blunt, keeping the smoke in her lungs. Katya takes the next drag and passes it to Dela.

“Why’d you think that?”

Violet shrugs. “I just have a feeling.”

“Vi is a bit of a witch,’ Jaymie says. She always talks like she’s super excited about something, and she passes on the blunt.

“She always feels things before they are happening. So she’s probably right.”

“I’m always right,” Violet says lazily.

The girls sit and talk, pass around the wine, which is horrible but they still can’t say no to it, and smoke two blunts between all of them, minus Jaymie. Katya feels lazy and like she’s floating, although her throat is annoyingly dry, and she takes a swig from another bottle. It’s whisky. Just as she encourages the girls to try it, because lukewarm whisky is better than lukewarm white wine, they hear the door to the basement open.

“Girls?”

“Fuck, that’s Miss Mattel!” Violet whisper-screams and throws the blunt into the almost empty wine bottle, waving her hands as if that would help with the heavy, sweet scent of weed and tobacco in the air around them.

Heels are clicking down the stairs as all the girls get up and blow out candles and dust themselves off, but there’s no way for them to go. They’re stuck, and Trixie finds them looking guilty and sad.

“It’s lights out,” Trixie says sternly. They all hurry past her, whispering apologies, all but Katya. She lights a cigarette and offers Trixie one. Trixie ignores her and looks around the room, picks up the paper bag from the floor. There’s one little plastic baggie of weed left in there, as well as the rice paper that Laganja used to roll the blunts with.

“Katya,” Trixie says softly and sighs. Katya stares at her. “You’ve been here less than a week. What am I supposed to do?”

Punish me, Katya thinks, but doesn’t speak. She shrugs and tries her best to look uninterested. She knows how it annoys her mother.

“I have to think about this. Go to bed.”

Trixie leaves, and Katya watches her ass move as she follows her up the stairs. She’s still stoned and dazed, and she watches her own hand as it reaches out and almost… almost touches Trixie’s full bottom. But then the harsh light of the hallway is in her eyes and she almost stumbles through the door.

Back in her suite, Trixie throws the bag of weed in a drawer of her desk and stifles a laugh behind her hand. These girls are gutsy, she never dared to pull something like this when she went to this school - although it was a little stricter then. She has to think of a good way to punish Katya, but how? Nothing seems to impress that girl. When Trixie was a senior here, they would make her clean the general bathrooms, or forbid her to go to the dance, or gave her house arrest. The dance is too far away for Trixie to use that as leverage. If she takes the weed to Mother Cecilia Clare, Katya will be expelled immediately, and Trixie doesn’t want that. She wants to give the girl a chance, after being expelled from two high schools in two years, and with parents that probably neglect her. She has to think of something good.

*

After Sunday mass, Trixie follows the girls back to the dorm. All look to be in some state of remorse, although Jaymie still looks excited about something. It seems to be her permanent state of being.

“Katya?” Trixie says as they approach their room. “A word?”

Katya follows Trixie silently to her suite, and Trixie sits at her desk while Katya stands, hands folded together in front of her, eyes on the floor. She’s wearing a black dress, that looks ok, although it’s too short for the dress code, but she’s wearing thick black tights with it. All her jewelry is out, but she isn’t wearing any makeup today. Trixie thinks it makes her look prettier.

“I’m a little disappointed, Miss Zamolodchikova.”

Katya’s face comes up at the perfect pronunciation of her last name. Trixie smirks, then tries to look serious again.

“I honestly don’t care that you smoke, whether it be cigarettes or weed. I think you’re smart enough to know that it’s bad for your health. And you’re probably also smart enough to know it’s extremely petty for a very privileged young girl to put her future at stake for the sake of acting out.”

It’s the first time Trixie sees a bit of shock on Katya’s face, the dawning realisation of getting caught - not smoking, but someone seeing through her antics. Katya swallows visibly.

“I… I wasn’t… I didn’t-”

“But what disappoints me most,” Trixie continues, ignoring Katya’s fumbling words. “Is that you had to drag the other girls with you.” Katya opens her mouth again, and Trixie stares her down until she closes it.

“The only reason that you’re not in Mother Cecilia Clare’s office tomorrow, getting expelled and sent back to your mother in New York, is that I don’t think that would help you. So here we are.”

Katya nods. Tears are stinging behind her eyes, and she bites her lip to keep her mouth shut. It wasn’t my weed, I didn’t set them up, they’ve done it before, I didn’t…

“You can do a chore for me, since I can’t let you do anything around the school. Today we observe Sunday rest, but you can do it in the evenings during free time. For as long as you need to finish it.”

“Ok.”

Trixie nods, then points to the other side of the room. The whole wall is filled with one big bookshelf, and every inch of it is covered in books.

“You’re going to rearrange my book collection. Take them all out, dust everything off, put them back. First alphabetically by author, then chronologically by title.”

Katya stares at the wall, then at Trixie, with big eyes. There are a gazillion books on that wall.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at free time. And please feel free to share this with the girls, so they know how much trouble they could’ve gotten themselves into.”

Katya stands in the hallways for a moment, catching her breath after that verbal lashing by Miss Mattel. And a chore. In her suite. Alone, with her. She feels sad for disappointing her, but at the same time exhilarated for the time she’ll get to spend around her.

*

“The smoke of my own breath,  
Echoes, ripples, buzz'd whispers, love-root, silk-thread, crotch and vine,  
My respiration and inspiration, the beating of my heart, the passing of blood and air through my lungs,  
The sniff of green leaves and dry leaves, and of the shore and dark-color'd sea-rocks, and of hay in the barn,  
The sound of the belch'd words of my voice loos'd to the eddies of the wind,  
A few light kisses, a few embraces, a reaching around of arms,  
The play of shine and shade on the trees as the supple boughs wag,  
The delight alone or in the rush of the streets, or along the fields and hill-sides,  
The feeling of health, the full-noon trill, the song of me rising from bed and meeting the sun.”

Trixie’s voice is angelic to Katya’s ears, and she doesn’t bother to hide her smile and her staring. Trixie is in black slacks today, and they suit her, how tight they span her wide ass and how she’s had to close it around her small waist with a leather belt. She’s very feminine, so unlike Courtney’s skinny, boyish physique, and Katya is into it.

“What do you think this means?” Trixie looks up at the class and closes the book. She didn’t actually read it from the pages, she knows it by heart. Katya thinks about her question when Violet blatantly talks without raising her hand.

“Wasn’t Walt Whitman gay?”

“He was.”

Violet takes note, but doesn’t say anything else.

“Because through love we feel the intensity of our connection to everything and everyone, and at the core we’re all the same,” Katya says, almost only to Trixie. “We’re all one.”

Trixie smiles at Katya from where she leans against her desk.

“So I’m the same as Dela? I don’t think so,” Violet scoffs.

“You could expand your mind,” Dela says wisely.

“You could stop cutting yourself,” Violet bites back.

“Violet!” Miss Mattel raises her voice for the first time since Katya has met her. “Out of my classroom.” She points at the door, and Violet leaves, sighing.

Katya shoots Dela a look. Her eyes are big and swimming with tears.

During lunch break, Trixie and Katya are both looking for Dela, although they are not searching together, nor do they know what the other is doing. Katya finds her first, sitting on the steps outside the building. Katya lights a cigarette and offers Dela one, but she refuses.

“Hey.” Katya bumps her shoulder to Dela’s. “You know why she was such a bitch, right?”

Dela sniffs and shrugs.

“Because you said something really smart, and she doesn’t know how to respond to that.”

Trixie watches the girls from behind the glass entry door, and hears their muted voices.

“She didn’t have to say that,” Dela whispers.

“She did it to save face. She’s petty, but she’ll learn, because of people like you.”

Dela looks up at Katya.

“Everytime a person outsmarts her and she comes back with shit like that, it’s a learning moment. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

Katya wraps an arm around Dela and stomps out her cigarette on the bottom step of the stairs.

“So this is why you always have the sleeves down?” Katya touches Dela’s covered arm, but she pulls it back.

“It’s ok Dela, I don’t judge anyone. Next time you feel like that, come talk to me. Scream, cry, do whatever you want. You need an outlet, I can be that. Instead of a razor.”

Dela carefully lets her head fall against Katya’s shoulder, and Trixie swallows back a lump in her throat, then leaves silently.

*

On Monday evening, Miss Mattel doesn’t attend dinner or evening mass. Katya goes back to the dorm and changes into normal clothes. Laganja sits on her bed while Katya buttons up a red and black checkered flannel.

“I’m sorry about this shit, Katya. Just let me go to her.”

“It’s fine,” Katya says and shakes her head. “I’ll do the chore, I don’t mind.”

“But it was my fault, not yours.”

Katya looks up. “We all participated. Nobody said no. She picked me, because I’m the black sheep. I always am.”

“Girl, don’t worry about it,” Violet says from where she’s sprawled out on her bed, typing on her phone. That thing is going to grow to her hand soon. Katya raises an eyebrow at her.

“I know you don’t mind, Kat. You’re hot for Trixie.”

Katya stares her down. “And so what if I am.” Violet shrugs.

“I get it, she’s pretty. Old, but pretty. Maybe you can get close now and fuck her.”

“Shut up,” Katya growls and walks past Violet’s bed and out of the room.

She goes outside, sits on the steps and smokes. Just when she stomps out the cigarette, a car’s headlights illuminate the gravel path in front of the building. It stops a little ways away from Katya, and she sees two people in the car - Miss Mattel, and a man. They talk, smile, and… kiss. It’s not a long kiss, but it’s long enough for Katya to get queasy. She wants to leave, but can’t. Her butt is glued to the cold concrete step she’s sitting on.

Miss Mattel leaves the car and waves, and then enters her suite from a door off to the side.

Katya stands up, shakes her body a little and takes a deep breath, then goes inside, straight to Miss Mattel’s door, and knocks. She opens it with her jacket still on.

“Hi Katya, just in time. Come on in.”

Katya’s body is filled with angry energy, and her breaths are coming fast.

“You weren’t here when I came earlier.”

“Yeah, I was out for dinner, I forgot to tell you.”

Trixie smiles and walks to her small kitchenette.

“Do you want a cup of tea?”

“No thanks.”

Katya walks to the other side of the room where the books are, and finds a step stool already in place for her. Trixie puts up a kettle and takes a dust cloth from a cabinet. She doesn’t comment when she puts it down next to the bookshelf, while Katya climbs on the stool and starts taking out books from the top shelves.

“Are they in order now?” Katya asks as she reads the titles. Trixie flips on the big light in the room.

“I’m afraid not,” she replies with a chuckle. Katya sighs.

“But then I’m going to leave a mess. Until it’s done.”

Trixie sits down at her desk with a cup of tea and starts grading tests with a red pen.

“That’s ok. You’ll be back tomorrow.”

They work in silence for a while. Katya takes out as many books as she can and sorts them by author, first on the small dining table, but soon she has to start making piles on the carpeted floor. Trixie grades, but keeps glancing over at the girl, how she steps up and down the stool, reads the book titles and puts them on the right piles.

“Oh, geez.” Katya whispers. Trixie’s head whips up.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry. Force of habit.” Katya smiles apologetically and holds up a book. “Brontë. I can’t stand her, or her sister.” She puts the book on the floor, making a new section between two other B’s.

“Really? Why?” Trixie turns in her chair and sips tea. She’s taken off her shoes and pulls one socked foot up on her chair.

“I just can’t stand to read about women and their… position, back then. How they were less than men. I prefer modern literature, where they try to be equal. Even though we’re not.”

“Oh yeah, I understand that. But it’s also important and interesting to know how we got to this, don’t you think?”

Katya balances on the stool again, a big piles of books in her arms as she steps down.

“Yeah, I guess. It’s just boring to read.”

Trixie lets out a little giggle, and it makes Katya’s ear tingle.

“I’d have to agree on that too. The Brontë sisters are boring. All three of them, actually.”

“There are three?” Katya sounds exasperated. Trixie nods.

“There were. And a brother, but thankfully none of his works have survived the times.”

That night in bed, Katya can still hear Miss Mattel’s giggle, her laugh, she can recall how sweet she looked in the soft light, how wavy her blonde curls were. She was so relaxed, it was incredibly sexy. Katya curses the dorm she’s in, where she can’t touch herself for fear of anyone overhearing. And then there was that kiss… she kissed the man in the car. Is she straight? Katya twists and turns in the bed. She can’t be straight.


	2. You shall not make idols

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katya is having a hard time focussing on her school work because her teacher is a hot piece of ass. The teacher in question struggles with some issues of her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone who read the first chapter!! I love seeing your reactions, but I've seen some discussions on Tumblr about leaving comments or not, or if writers should demand comments, or whatver... To me, comments are little gifts that brighten my day. When I feel down, or when I can't find the flow in my writing, I go back and scroll through them and it makes me feel so much better.
> 
> I also keep track of the kudos, I check the count every day when I get home from work. But I don't want anyone to feel obligated to comment. If you want to say something, say it - don't worry about your choice of words, the length, or if your English is good, or if you maybe wanna write it in your own language. I appreciate everyone who comes along and stops to read my story. It gives me so much joy to read stories I love, and that's what I wanna give as well. If you wanna lurk, just lurk ;) I see you in the view count :P

“Center of all centers, core of cores,  
almond self-enclosed, and growing sweet--  
all this universe, to the furthest stars  
all beyond them, is your flesh, your fruit.

Now you feel how nothing clings to you;  
your vast shell reaches into endless space,  
and there the rich, thick fluids rise and flow.  
Illuminated in your infinite peace,

a billion stars go spinning through the night,  
blazing high above your head.  
But in you is the presence that  
will be, when all the stars are dead.”

Trixie walks around the classroom, book in hand, but citing the poem by Rainer Maria Rilke from memory. Katya’s eyes love to follow her, and by now she’s accepted that Trixie is beautiful, gorgeous, and her sweet voice touches Katya’s ears like a calling.

Katya sighs softly when the poem ends, and her tongue curls around the end of her pen. There’s a smile on her lips, one that she can’t wipe off her face even when Trixie looks at her with a frown.

“When Rilke says, ‘your vast shell reaches into endless space, and there the rich, thick fluids rise and flow’, what was he talking about?” Trixie looks around the room.

Violet rolls her eyes and sighs. Katya ignores her and challenges Trixie with her eyes, but she doesn’t look at her.

“I think it’s about sex,” Katya says. A few girls gasp softly around her. Trixie turns to look at her and leans against her desk.

“What makes you think that?”

“‘Your vast shell reaches into endless space’, sounds like a metaphor for the body as it orgasms,” Katya says. There’s giggling around her, but she keeps on.

“And ‘endless space’ could represent the infinite possibilities that open to you when you climax. And, thick fluids, well, I think that’s obvious.” Katya smirks and bites her pen, looking up at Trixie from under her lashes.

The girls around her are almost snorting with laughter, but Katya takes her theory very seriously. Trixie feels her face getting warm, and keeps her frown trained on Katya. Trixie stands motionless, the giggles from the other girls hitting her skin like stings.

“I think Rilke is implying that sex and love can merge together. Especially if it’s good sex.” Katya’s tongue teases her pen, her eyes glued to Trixie’s.

Violet is full on roaring with laughter now, but Trixie doesn’t say anything. Her focus on Katya is exhilarating, even if she doesn’t look like she’s amused. Katya’s heart is beating out of her chest and she almost feels dizzy.

The bell rings then, signaling the end of class, and the girls all get up and rush to pack their books and leave.

“Katya, I’d like to speak with you.”

Katya turns from where she was on her way to the door, and she knows her cheeks are red. Trixie looks angry. Katya doesn’t care.

“What was that?”

“I answered your question.”

“I respect your opinion on the works we discuss, but that was inappropriate. And I think you’re doing it on purpose.”

Trixie pushes away from her desk and walks around it to sit down on her chair.

“Why would I do that on purpose?” Katya trails a finger along the edge of Trixie’s desk and bites to inside of her cheek to keep from grinning wide.

“You tell me. To get attention?” Trixie leans back in her chair, and Katya’s eyes stray to her breasts. She must have big breasts, with the way they fill out those hideous blouses she’s wearing.

“Maybe I like getting attention from you.” Katya shrugs with one shoulder.

“Try for positive attention next time, ok?” Trixie smiles, she can’t help it. This cheeky girl is charming her and she can’t stay mad.

Katya’s grin is enormous when she leaves the classroom and Trixie sighs and shakes her head.

*

Trixie enjoys a break between classes, in her suite, sipping tea and scrolling through her calendar on her phone. Her boyfriend sent her an invitation to a dinner with friends, and she doesn’t really want to go. She’s a little tired of his friends. And of him. Actually, she’s tired of the whole dating thing.

There’s loud knocking on the door then, and someone screaming her name, and the door opens, Dela and Jaymie rushing in.

“Miss Mattel! Violet and Katya are fighting!”

Trixie instantly gets up and rushes to the dorm room, where Katya and Violet are rolling over Violet’s bed, grabbing each other’s hair, kicking and screaming. Violet’s hair is a mess and Katya’s nose is bleeding.

“Girls! Stop this immediately!” Trixie yells and grabs the first thing she can get her hands on, it’s Violets arm, and Laganja pulls at Katya on the other side of the bed. The girls fall back, still kicking, and Katya falls to the floor as Trixie pulls Violet to stand.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She grabs Violet’s arm to make her look at her, but Violet pulls back. She’s crying, but doesn’t answer. Katya gets up from the floor and pinches her nose, blood has run down her chin and onto her shirt.

“You, go see the nurse. Violet, clean yourself up.”

Katya takes her jacket and purse and storms out of the room, not in the direction of the nurse’s office, but to the front door. Trixie follows her.

“Katya!”

Katya stands outside and lights a cigarette. For a moment, Trixie was worried she’d run away, try to leave the premises, and that she’d have to run after her. Trixie is wearing a pair of slacks and a thin sweater, and her feet are bare, she shivers when they hit the cold concrete of the steps.

“Go to the nurse, please,” Trixie tries again. Katya sniffs, then spits out blood, and Trixie pulls a face.

“I don’t need a nurse, I’m fine.”

“What if your nose is broken?”

Katya chuckles humorlessly. “That bitch isn’t strong enough to break anything.”

Trixie sighs. “This is the second time I’m going to have to discipline you. I can’t leave out Mother Cecilia Clare this time.”

Katya looks Trixie straight in the eyes.

“The weed wasn’t mine.”

“Who brought it in?”

“Doesn’t matter, but it wasn’t me. If you bring it up to Mother Cecilia Clare, I’d have to snitch. That’s not my style.”

There’s blood caked to the side of Katya’s cheek and a strand of hair sticks to it. Trixie steps closer to push it behind her ear, and Katya stops breathing, just stares at her.

“Please try to keep yourself out of trouble, honey. I can’t protect you every time.” Trixie puts her hand on Katya’s cheek, and the world stops for a moment when they stare into each other’s eyes. Her hand is warm, her fingers soft, and Katya’s body shivers.

“Violet kissed me,” Katya says softly, her eyes still on Trixie’s.

“Was that what started the fight?” Trixie’s hand leaves Katya’s cheek and lands on her shoulder. Katya shakes her head and takes a drag from her cigarette.

“She… I don’t wanna be with her. She’s not my type.”

Katya’s stare is so intense, Trixie feels her face burn up.

Katya attacked Violet when Violet was rude about Miss Mattel, again, but Katya isn’t going to say that. She steps closer to Trixie, her fingers hesitantly touching her small waist. She can hear Trixie’s sharp intake of breath when she feels Katya’s fingers through the layers of her clothes.

“Katya…”

“Trixie. You’re my type.” Katya whispers the words softly, her face close enough that Trixie can feel the warmth of her breath. Trixie takes a step back and removes Katya’s hand from her waist.

“I… I can’t do this,” Trixie whispers, more to herself than to Katya, then turns and leaves.

*

Trixie takes Violet and Katya to Mother Cecilia Clare just before dinner, both girls cleaned up and wearing clean uniforms. They don’t look at each other and they don’t speak, and when the Mother asks them what that fight was about, Katya shrugs.

“Just a stupid argument. A misunderstanding.”

“And have you made up now?” The Mother asks. Katya nods, turns to Violet and holds out her hand.

“I’m sorry, Vi.”

“I’m sorry.” Violet shakes her hand but avoids her eyes.

“Ok, well. I think you understand I cannot accept this kind of behavior in my school. Your parents will be notified and you’ll both be on detention and house arrest for two weeks.”

Mother Cecilia Clare stands and dismisses them, and they follow Miss Mattel to the dining room. Katya’s mind is reeling. Two weeks of daily detention, how is she ever going to finish her chore for Miss Mattel now?

That evening at dinner, Katya stays at her table until Miss Mattel leaves, and rushes to walk back to the dorm with her.

“I’m sorry,” Katya offers quietly when she catches up and walks besides Trixie.

“Ok.” Trixie nods.

“How… when is detention? How does that work when I have to do my chore?”

They walk the halls together, groups of girls rushing by, books and bags in their hands and arms linked with their friends.

“You’ll have detention from your last class until dinner, and then you can do your chore after dinner. Would that work?” Trixie smiles a little, and Katya feels her body relax.

“Ok. Yes, that will work. Can I start right now?”

Katya follows Miss Mattel to her suite and continues sorting books. It’s not a bad task, she likes books, although most of them are pretty dusty. Miss Mattel retreats to her bedroom to make a phone call, and Katya sighs in relief. She’s dreading being alone with her now, after their moment on the steps outside. I can’t do this, she said. What does that mean? Katya was positive that she felt something from her, some sort of affection, nothing parent like, nothing a teacher should show. But they’ve barely known each other two weeks, it’s impossible to read her, to know what she thinks or feels.

Trixie’s bedroom door opens and she goes into the kitchen, starts making coffee. She sits down at her desk and starts grading papers in silence. Katya doesn’t say anything, tries to focus on her task. She’s nearly done with one side of the shelf when Trixie calls her name, almost pulling her out of a trance, Katya blinks at her.

“Do you want a cup of tea?” Trixie holds up a kettle, and Katya nods.

Trixie makes the tea while Katya awkwardly stands in the room. Katya hadn’t even noticed that Trixie changed into different clothes and no longer looks like her strict English Lit teacher. She’s wearing a long sleeve T-shirt and sweats, her hair is up in a bun and she looks soft and cuddly. Trixie brings their mugs to the small seating area and pats the couch beside her.

“Come sit down.” Trixie smiles and Katya huffs out a laugh, then sits down on the couch.

“I’m sorry if I crossed a line out there,” Katya blurts suddenly, looking into her tea mug. She closes her eyes, wants to slap her forehead. Trixie doesn’t answer and Katya can’t stop herself from talking.

“I just… I really like you. I mean, I’m attracted to you.”

When Trixie still doesn’t speak, Katya looks up. Trixie blushes and changes her position on the couch.

“Katya… I’m your teacher,” she says gently.

Katya heart skips a beat and she turns to Trixie, puts her mug down on the table.

“I don’t care.” Katya’s eyes are wide and shining, and she gets a little closer still. Trixie sits stiffly on the couch, eyes staring at the wood grains on her coffee table.

Trixie feels trapped. She knows there’s… something, between her and this girl. She felt it from the first moment their eyes met, there was a connection there. She knows she’s not happy with her boyfriend because she doesn’t really want to be with a man. She wants to feel a connection so special it makes her heart burst, and she’s only had that once before, with a woman.

Katya is so close, Trixie can smell her, it’s pleasant, like a soft scented body wash or lotion. Katya reaches out and touches Trixie’s arm, just with one finger, slides it over the skin exposed by her rolled up sleeve.

“And if I wasn’t your student?”

Trixie turns her head, and Katya is right there, eyes burning, lips slightly open.

Katya sees Trixie’s eyes flick to her mouth and she licks her lips and leans in. Trixie flinches, but doesn’t move away when Katya presses her lips to hers, so softly, so carefully. Trixie sighs shortly, and Katya feels Trixie’s hand on her arm.

“Trixie,” Katya breathes, watching as Trixie’s blush spreads over her cheeks. Katya moves closer, her hand now on Trixie’s cheek, her lips on hers.

“Tell me I’m not crazy,” Katya whispers while pressing soft little kisses to Trixie’s lips, the corner of her mouth, her chin.

Trixie takes Katya’s wrists and pulls her hands away from her face.

“We can’t do this,” Trixie says sternly.

“We can do whatever we want.” Katya is excited and anxious and incredibly turned on all at the same time.

Trixie can’t stand the closeness, the heat she feels in the pit of her stomach, the burning sensation Katya’s lips have left on hers, and she stands up from the couch and walks to the kitchen. She drinks a glass of water to give herself something to do, then walks over to her desk and takes a photo album from a drawer. She puts it down on the table in front of Katya.

“I met the love of my life when I was in college, but it was hard to… accept it. Maybe I never did,” Trixie says. She stands in the middle of the room with her arms crossed and her head down.

Katya opens the photo album and looks through the pages. The pictures show a young Trixie, dressed very differently, a little bit grungy, with her arm around a brunette her age. They’re sitting on a bench, in the grass, on a beach, and they’re laughing, smiling at each other, in one photo the brunette leans her head against Trixie’s shoulder. They look happy and perfect.

“Where is she now?” Katya stares at a beautiful picture of the girl on the beach, obviously a selfie with Trixie in the background.

“She died.”

Katya’s head whips up.

“I’m sorry.”

Trixie shakes her head.

“It’s been… a long time. I… I miss her, but I’ve moved on.”

“With guys.”

Trixie sighs and sits down next to Katya again.

“Yeah, with guys, because I grew up very Catholic and super homophobic.” Trixie sighs and rubs her hands over her face.

Katya carefully puts the book down on the table and sits close to Trixie, gently rubbing a hand over her back.

Their silence gets interrupted by a buzzing sound, it’s Trixie’s phone on her desk.

“Oh, it’s half an hour till lights out,” Trixie says and gets up to shut down the alarm. “You better get back.”

Katya comes close again, Trixie can even feel it with her eyes closed. Katya takes Trixie’s hand in hers and squeezes it, then leaves without saying anything.

*

The next day, Trixie isn’t home so Katya can’t do her chore. Trixie made sure to let her know when they saw each other in the hallway surrounded by students. Katya feels frustrated and upset. She’s sure she’s not crazy, even if Trixie refused to admit it - there’s a fire between them, an attraction, like magnets moving toward each other.

When Katya gets back to her chore, she puts some extra attention to her outfit. She’s wearing a black babydoll dress, dangerously short, black tights and her boots. She’s not wearing a bra and takes off her vest when she starts cleaning the bookshelf with a damp cloth. All the books are sorted and dusted off, and she’s soon ready to put them back on the shelves.

Trixie is working on her laptop to write a test for the sophomores, but she’s very distracted by Katya’s presence. She’s no fool, she knows exactly what the girl is doing, dressing like a sexy rock star, flashing her red lace boxers when she reaches up to reach the highest shelves. She doesn’t ask Katya to drink tea with her, but sends her back to her room a little earlier than normal. At the door, Trixie takes her phone from the table.

“I’m going out tomorrow, and I’m not sure when I’ll be back. Give me your number so I can let you know.”

Katya is in bed before the lights are out, the other girls in her room still getting ready. She’s been getting the cold shoulder from Violet, which is fine because Katya doesn’t need her drama. Dela has been silent to everyone, Laganja is still giving Katya puppy dog eyes, and Jaymie… excited. Still.

When everyone is in bed and Laganja turns off the lights, the screen of Katya’s phone on her nightstand lights up with a text.

T: Do you only own red underwear?

Katya nearly chokes on her gasp and laughter and sits up in bed, the screen lighting up her face.

“Girl, go to sleep,” Laganja says from across the room.

Katya stares at the screen, unable to process what’s happening, and ignores Laganja. She wants to reply, has to reply, but what? The text is mocking her, and so are the red lace boxers she’s still wearing under her sleep shirt.

K: Maybe. Maybe not.

Trixie chuckles, sitting on her couch. She’s poured herself a glass of wine, even though it’s a school night, and she stared at Katya’s number for a while before sending something. There was a little thrill in her body when Katya’s reply came, and it solidified Trixie’s plans for the following night. She’s going to tell her boyfriend they’re through.

*

The classroom is completely silent, safe for the shuffling of papers, clicking of pens, and Trixie’s heels on the linoleum floor as she walks up and down the rows of desks. She’s wearing a skirt and her heels are super high, and Katya is extremely distracted by every click of the shoes. Her breathing picks up when Trixie comes closer, and then halts right beside Katya’s desk. Katya’s pen is hanging above the paper, she hasn’t written anything down after the first question, and Trixie leans in a little, reading what she’s written.

Katya turns her head slightly to look, and Trixie smiles, and Katya melts into her chair and smiles back goofily. Trixie walks by, her ass in Katya’s view for a few seconds, then turns to walk along the next row of desks. Katya shuffles in her chair, sighs, reads the second question again, and starts writing.

Girls are leaving when they are done, but Katya and Dela are the last two to finish, both groaning when the bell rings.

“Ladies, are you done? Sure?” Trixie stands between their desks and takes the papers.

Katya packs her bag extra slowly, waiting for Dela to leave, and the girl gives her a knowing smile as she rushes out.

“What happened?” Trixie asks, standing by her desk to sort the papers and pack them into her bag.

“I was distracted,” Katya mumbles, hoisting her heavy bag over her shoulder. She walks up to the front of the room, halting very close to Trixie.

“Very distracted.”

Trixie’s black skirt reaches the middle of her knees, but is tight around her full figure, the blouse on top fitted around her bosom, the suit jacket hanging open. She looks like a corporate fantasy, with her black pumps and… everything. Katya reaches out and runs one finger over Trixie’s hip. Trixie stares at her with her mouth slightly open.

“You better score well,” Trixie says softly. Her throat is dry.

“Will you punish me if I don’t?” Katya’s voice sounds dangerous and it makes Trixie dizzy.

Both almost jump up when someone clears their throat and Mother Cecilia Clare appears in the doorway.

“Miss Mattel. A word?”

Katya tries to smile politely and leaves as quickly as she can without running.

That evening, Katya has nothing to do. She’s done all her homework during detention, and now she’s sitting around in her room, waiting for Trixie to text. It’s getting late, and Katya goes out for a smoke just before lights out, slipping away before any of the nuns can check on them, and stands in the dark besides the entrance to the building.

Just as she crushes her cigarette butt in the gravel on the ground, a car turns up at the gates. It’s a taxi, and Trixie gets out and starts walking up the gravel path. She’s still in her work clothes and the gravel seems to be extremely hard to navigate in heels. She’s almost up to the building, and Katya thinks she should sneak away, when Trixie’s legs wobble and she falls, landing on her hands and knees on the gravel.

Then it hits Katya - she’s drunk. Miss Mattel is completely wasted.

Katya checks the main entrance and when she doesn’t see or hear anything, she rushes to Trixie, who’s managed to get back to standing and brushes off her knees.

“Oh. Crap.”

Katya hears her words from a few feet away.

“Trixie.”

Her face is shocked when she looks up, and she drops her purse.

“Katya! You can’t be out here! Go away.” Trixie bends down to get the purse, nearly falling again, and Katya picks it up for her. She slides an arm around Trixie’s waist and supports her while they walk to the side entrance of her suite.

“Shhhh. You gotta be silent,” Trixie slurs loudly.

“Shut up!” Katya whispers urgently.

Trixie fumbles with her purse to find her keys, drops them, then instructs Katya to the right key. Inside, she loses her shoes immediately and drops her body on the couch, flopping down sideways.

Katya stares. Trixie is a mess. A gorgeous, sexy mess. Her skirt is riding up, exposing the tops of her thighs, and her blouse has a few buttons opened. One of her hands and both knees have bloody scrapes on them, but she doesn’t seem to notice.

Katya goes to the tiny kitchen and with shaking hands tears off a piece of kitchen paper and soaks it with cold water. She wipes over the scrapes on Trixie’s hand, hesitates, but then does it to her knees as well. Her tights are ripped.

“Katya…” Trixie sighs and sits up. “Please go away.”

Katya doesn’t reply, but gets a glass of water and gives it to Trixie.

“Drink.” She stands and waits until Trixie has finished all of it. She frowns at Katya.

“You shouldn’t see me like this. I’m a mess.”

Katya smiles and crouches in front of Trixie, inspecting her knees. They don’t look too bad, but the palm of her hand keeps bleeding.

“Do you have bandaids?”

“Uhm. In the bathroom. Cabinet.”

Katya goes into Trixie’s bedroom, feeling like she should be tiptoeing, and finds the bandaids. Her bedroom and bathroom are cute and neat, and Katya has to repress the urge to smell the bottle of lotion in the cabinet. When she turns around, Trixie stands in the doorway and she’s crying.

“I’m sorry,” she bawls. “It was a bad night, I just… please go.”

Trixie whispers the last two words and it breaks Katya’s heart.

“It’s ok. Sit down.”

Katya guides Trixie towards the bed and puts a bandaid on her hand. Trixie grabs her then, her arms around Katya’s middle and her face hidden against her stomach. Katya takes the clip out of Trixie’s hair to loosen her updo and runs her hands through the soft blonde curls.

“You should get some sleep,” Katya says, and gently takes Trixie’s arms from her waist. Trixie keeps whispering she’s sorry as she takes off her jacket and watches as Katya pulls back the duvet. Trixie’s breasts are nearly spilling out of her blouse, and Katya can see her bra even though she’s wearing a silky top underneath.

“Katya, honey, you can’t tell anyone about this, ok?”

Trixie sits up in the bed again, she’s nervous and still crying a little.

“Trixie…” Katya tries to make her voice sound as stern as possible. “Lie down.”

Katya pulls the duvet over Trixie even though she’s still fully clothed. She’s not going to help her undress, she can’t handle staying here much longer as it is. She bends down, wipes under Trixie’s eyes with her thumbs.

“Go to sleep, Trix. It’s gonna be ok.”

Trixie reaches out and grabs a fistfull of Katya’s black curls, pulls her down and kisses her full on the lips. Katya gasps, and Trixie pushes her tongue into her mouth and moans. She tastes like wine. Katya stops breathing and leans in to the kiss helplessly, her tongue wildly battling Trixie’s, she’s almost on top of her now, but then manages to pull herself away.

Trixie has stopped crying and looks at Katya with a scared face. Katya has a weird sense of being displaced, or like the world is upside down, and she rushes away in a daze.

*

Trixie wakes early in the morning with a heavy head, in bed fully dressed, and for a minute has no idea what has happened. She undresses quickly and heads into the shower to get ready for mass, and then it hits her. Images of the night before come flowing back slowly, how she tried to convince Matt to have dinner at his place rather than go out, because she wanted to talk. But he was so happy she called him, he ordered food from a fancy place and kept giving her delicious wine. By the time they got to the serious stuff, she was already half drunk and he was trying to get her to sleep with him.

Trixie sighs as she gets out of the shower. She feels really bad for breaking it off with him like that, while she was drunk and he was in such a good mood, but it was pretty clear that he was trying to take advantage of her level of drunkenness. It made it even easier to tell him to piss off.

Trixie left his apartment on unsteady legs, and walked into the next bar she saw. She did a few shots, alone, and then the bartender offered to call her a taxi.

Trixie’s stomach twists painfully, and it’s not because of her hangover.

Katya.

She was here when Trixie got home, and Trixie really has to wrack her brain to know what happened. But she knows how she got the cut in her hand and the scrapes on her knees, and that Katya took care of her, and… 


	3. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katya finishes her chore for Miss Mattel and finds out she has to stay at school for spring break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might have messed up with my use of the word 'semester', because I thought semesters were 1/4 or 1/3 of a school year, but according to my friend it's 1/2. I decided to leave it in because I had already finished the whole story when I found out. So I'm gonna claim artistic freedom on that - I can change the US school system to fit my story if I want to :P
> 
> Thx for reading <3 Only 2 more chapters to go.

The church fills up with girls quickly , and Mother Cecilia Clare looks around to see if everyone is there. Katya sits in the back alone, silent, ignoring the other girls, when Trixie walks in just in time. There is only one bench left to sit, and Trixie slides in next to Katya and sees the girl’s posture stiffen slightly.

Saturday mass is pretty long, and Katya doesn’t really participate. She’s there because she needs to be and because she doesn’t want to show any disrespect to the religious beliefs of everyone around her. But she doesn’t fold her hands in prayer, and she doesn’t sing.

“I’m sorry,” Trixie whispers when they stand up and everybody around them start singing a psalm.

“Stop saying that,” Katya bites back.

“I am not usually like that,” Trixie whispers again. Katya sighs.

“It’s ok. Did you dump him?”

They don’t look at each other and Trixie tries to mouth the words to the psalm and hide her smile at the same time.

“I did.”

Katya just nods. When they sit down again, she shuffles a little closer to Trixie so that their thighs touch. A moment later, Trixie feels Katya’s fingers gently rub her thigh through the thin, silky material of her dress. Her mouth opens a little, but she keeps her eyes trained on the priest up on his pulpit.

Katya gets a little bolder and reaches her hand around Trixie’s thigh, her fingertips dipping between where her thighs touch, and she squeezes. She hears Trixie sigh softly, and sees from the corner of her eye how she licks her lips. Katya’s heartbeat is elevated and her body is warm, especially the back of her neck and between her legs.

The priest emphasizes some of his words by smacking his hand flat on the surface of the pulpit, and the two women on the last bench nearly jump up in shock.

When the mass ends, the students and nuns leave the church quietly, the first benches go first, then the next, and then the next, and so on. Katya is almost ready to jump Trixie’s bones right there under the watchful eyes of the priest and Mother Cecilia Clare, but she stands up like everyone else, Trixie close beside her.

Everyone is allowed to wear their day clothes, or casual clothes, to the regular masses on school evenings and Saturday mornings, but most girls try to dress appropriately. There are a lot of skirts and dresses, nothing above the knees, and some pants, but Katya is the only one wearing jeans. They are pretty neat, dark blue skinny jeans, paired with her boots and a black blouse. She shivers when she feels Trixie’s hand on her back, just at the edge of her jeans, slipping under her shirt, her cool fingertips ghosting over Katya’s naked skin.

“Do you want to finish your chore today?” Trixie asks in a soft voice while they wait for their turn to leave.

“Yes. Maybe when the girls have left?”  
  
Laganja and Jaymie have soccer practice, Violet has disappeared somewhere else. Back in their dorm room, Katya waits around until the girls leave, pretending to read a French book. Dela is settled on her bed with her homework. When they are finally alone, Katya gets up to leave.

“You’re going next door?” Dela asks without looking up.

“Yeah, to finish my chore for Miss Mattel.” Katya trails by the door, wondering if Dela suspects anything. Dela looks up and smiles.

“It’s ok, I won’t tell anyone.”

Katya feels her face turn red, but turns quickly and leaves. The hall is empty when she knocks on Trixie’s door, then hears her yell, “It’s open!”

Katya comes in and sees Trixie carry a large pile of books to the bookshelf.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Katya finds the bookshelf nearly filled up.

“I thought I’d help you a little. Get on the stool.” Trixie nods her head in the direction of the stool, and Katya places it beside the right part of the shelf. She takes the books Trixie hands her and follows her directions of the order they should be in. They work together for a while, not really talking apart from handing each other books and discussing their order.

Trixie felt a sort of resolve come over her that morning in church. She admits to herself that yes, she likes Katya in a way she shouldn’t, she connects with her in ways that she didn’t expect with someone that much younger, and she wants to… get closer. Right now while sorting books together, she tries to think of a way to get Katya to kiss her again. Not a forced, sloppy, drunk kiss like the night before, but a real one. She can’t stop herself from thinking about it while watching Katya break a little sweat working with the books. She’s off the step stool now that they’ve reached the eye-level shelves.

It takes them less than two hours to finish the task, and they have a pile of about twenty books left that don’t fit on any shelves. Katya tries to rearrange some books, but it’s no use. The whole WXYZ section is left on the floor.

“Oh well, I’ll just leave them here,” Trixie says and takes the stack and places them on the side table by the window. Katya peers out.

“You have a garden?”

Trixie laughs.

“It doesn’t really deserve the name, but yes, there’s a small terrace. You wanna see?” She goes to her bedroom, and Katya follows, shaking off her awkwardness of being in that room, and Trixie opens the side door. The terrace is right beside the main parking lot, hidden behind tall trees and neatly kept shrubbery. There’s a wooden bench and a small table made out of a log, and a lot of potted plants.

“Wow, it’s nice here,” Katya whispers.

“It’s better when it’s sunny, I get the last of the afternoon sun in here.”

Trixie brushes some dust off her dress and feels Katya’s presence. She’s close.

“I’m kinda sad my chore is done.” Katya speaks softly, close enough to Trixie to touch her shoulder where her vest has slipped down a little.

“Me too.” Trixie turns toward Katya, and then they are suddenly toe to toe, standing on the cool tiles, Katya in socks, Trixie in tights.

Katya searches Trixie’s eyes for a sign, they’re a warm brown, and crinkle a little when she smiles. Katya reaches out and takes both of Trixie’s hands in hers.

“I feel… a little awkward, about last night,” Katya admits, but when she sees Trixie’s face fall, she rushes to add, “No, I mean… where are we at?”

Trixie swallows, sucks in a bit of her lower lip to bite into it, before she answers.

“I don’t know. I want…”  
  


Katya steps closer still, one of her feet now between Trixie’s, their bodies close enough that Trixie’s wide skirt touches Katya’s jeans.

“I want to kiss you.” Katya’s eyes search Trixie’s face again, and Trixie brings her hands to Katya’s face and touches her hair. She’s got half of it up in the a clip, the rest hanging down in a curly, tangled mess. Trixie’s hand cups the back of Katya’s head and she leans down, touches their lips together. It’s chilly outside, but Katya’s body heats up. She holds Trixie’s waist gently, pulling her closer and opening her lips to kiss her fully.

Trixie breathes deeply in through her nose as their tongues meet and dance slowly around each other, soft and wet and careful. Both scare a little when a car comes and turns onto the gravel of the parking lot - Trixie knows nobody can actually see them, but she feels nervous nonetheless and takes Katya inside. They sit on the couch and smile at each other, kissing again.

Katya’s hand is restless on Trixie’s thigh, rubbing up and down the fabric of her dress, squeezing her a little, and Trixie can’t get close enough, pulling at the long dark strands of Katya’s hair. Her lips are so soft on Trixie’s, her tongue so eager, Trixie feels Katya wants more. She presses against Katya’s shoulder with her hand.

“Lie down?”

She didn’t have to ask, Katya is already reclining on the couch, pulling at Trixie’s waist to get her on top, wrapping her legs around Trixie’s calves. Their kiss turns heated and urgent, and Trixie slides her curvy body against Katya’s slim one, and it feels so good. She hears Katya grunt when she pushes her breasts against her, she feels her moans against her lips and her heart is racing.

“I wanna touch you,” Katya says breathily between kisses. Trixie just moans a little and deepens the kiss again, rolling her hips against Katya. She feels Katya’s hands pull up her dress and then run up the backs of her thighs, and she gasps and breaks the kiss, leaning her forehead on Katya’s.

“You’re gonna drive me crazy, aren’t you?” Trixie whispers, looking down at Katya with hazy eyes. Katya grins widely and tickles Trixie’s thighs, brings her hands up to her ass and grabs it, squeezing it with her fingers.

“You’re so sexy, I wondered what your ass would feel like.” Katya’s eyes flick to Trixie’s lips and she kisses her again, pushing her ass back into Katya’s hands. Trixie knows she’s staining her panties already, desperate as she is for Katya to touch her, and she moans again when Katya’s fingers sneak down over her ass and between her thighs, rubbing her pussy through the layers of her tights and panties.

“Now I wanna know what you taste like,” Katya says. She’s lost all her awkwardness and inhibitions and threw away her verbal filter.

“Sweet Jesus,” Trixie breathes and rubs her body against Katya once more, burying her face in her neck, kissing along the line of her blouse.

“I bet you’re sweet. Maybe a little sticky,” Katya whispers, her lips to Trixie’s ear.

“Definitely sticky right now,” Trixie whispers against Katya’s throat, making her shiver.

“Fuck,” Katya pants and pushes Trixie’s ass down and her hips up. She then brings one hand around to Trixie’s front, in between them, and rubs over the heat between her legs. Trixie’s hands are restless, running up and down Katya’s arms, not enough space on the couch to touch her everywhere she wants to.

“Baby,” Trixie sighs right into Katya’s ear, her warm breath tickling her skin. She lifts her head to look at Katya’s face. “You wanna come to the bedroom?”

Katya nods, doesn’t even need to think about that, and Trixie gets up from the couch, her legs a little wobbly as she leads them back into her bedroom and closes the curtains. Katya stands and watches Trixie unzip her dress on the side and slide it down her body. She’s wearing a creamy pink set of underwear, and Katya can’t wait for her to take off her tights, she’s right by her side as soon as the dress hits the floor, her hands cupping her full breasts.

“So beautiful,” Katya whispers with her lips against the tops of Trixie’s breasts, turning her and pushing her towards the bed. Trixie falls down on her back, giggling, Katya crawling over her and teasing her neck with tickling kisses. Her fingers fumble with the buttons on Katya’s blouse, opening just two so she can slide it over her head. She’s wearing a stretchy black top, no bra, her nipples poking through the fabric and Trixie cups her breasts in her hands and pulls the fabric down. Katya has small, firm breasts, with little pink nipples that Trixie brings to her mouth causing Katya to gasp and whine.

They take long to get naked because they can’t stop touching and kissing each newly revealed piece of skin, and when Katya finally pulls Trixie’s panties down her thighs, she’s so worked up her breath is coming out in short huffs.

“Katya, please,” Trixie whines as Katya kisses the insides of her thighs, the skin warm and a little red from where Katya squeezed it with her fingers. Katya can see how turned on Trixie is, from the blush that spreads from her cheeks down to the tops of her boobs, to the shiver in her body when Katya’s hands touch her, and the glistening wetness of her folds, swollen and dark pink.

Katya kisses Trixie’s pussy, feeling the warm stickiness on her lips. She swipes her tongue up and down and Trixie’s thighs tremble. Trixie holds her own breasts, twisting her nipples, and Katya almost wants to stop and just watch her, but she keeps on licking and teasing.

“Faster, please, I can’t,” Trixie’s voice is high and fuels Katya’s fire and she pushes her tongue down harder, licking and sucking until it’s too much and Trixie shudders through an intense orgasm.

Katya kisses her way up Trixie’s stomach and pushes her face against her soft bosom, dark nipples standing out against her creamy skin. Trixie’s hands travel over Katya’s back, pulling her close for a kiss, their tongues lazily sliding against each other.

Trixie turns them so they are on their sides, and she parts Katya’s legs to get her fingers on her pussy, spreading her wetness around and rubbing over her clit.

“Oh yeah,” Katya whispers in Trixie’s mouth. “Can you make me come before dinner?” Katya asks cheekily, her eyes hazed and blinking slowly.

“Is it that late?” Trixie looks over her shoulder and sees that it’s indeed nearly half past five.

“Come on.” Katya rolls her hips into the Trixie’s hand and grabs her breasts. Trixie keeps rubbing her, Katya’s thighs closed, trapping her hand in between, and Katya grinds herself over Trixie’s long, slender fingers.

Trixie needs a better angle and turns Katya to her back. Katya moans at the loss of Trixie’s breasts against her, but then gasps when Trixie pushes her finger inside her sopping pussy. She thrusts slow and deep and leans down to tease Katya’s clit with her tongue.

“Fuck, yes, like that,” Katya breathes, her hand gently pushing the back of Trixie’s head. Her orgasm comes quickly, and gently ripples through her body without making a sound.

They both use the bathroom to clean up and then get dressed, stealing glances and grinning at each other as they get ready to go to the dining hall. Dinner is open on the weekends, everybody can go and get the menu of the day between five and seven, and now it’s nearly six. It’s not unusual for people to not show up at all, as some girls might get visits from their parents or go home on weekends. What is unusual though, is for teachers and students to show up for dinner together. Katya sees a text from Laganja when she gets her phone from the table in the living room.

L: You ok? Haven’t seen you all day. Got new weed.

K: Wanna go to dinner together?

Katya’s phone rings then, just as she and Trixie are both ready to leave.

“Hey Ganj,” Katya picks up.

“Girl, where the hell are you?”  
  
“I can’t talk right now, where are you?”

“I’m at dinner.”

“Oh save me a seat, I’m on my way.”   
  
Katya hangs up before Laganja can ask more questions, and then turns to Trixie, grabbing her waist.

“Miss Mattel…” Katya coos and touches Trixie’s cheek.

“You have to go first, and I’ll follow.” Trixie smiles and kisses Katya shortly, then ushers her out the door. Katya quickly looks around, then turns the corner and walks right into Violet.

“Oh wow, she’s alive,” Violet says dryly. She looks angry, although they haven’t spoken a lot since their fight. Katya ignores her and walks on to the dining hall. There is no line for the food and she quickly fills her plate and sits with Laganja, Dela and Jaymie. She greets them shortly and just starts eating, trying to pick up the conversation about… whatever they were talking about.

“Girl. What happened?” Laganja asks softly right beside Katya. Katya shakes her head.

“Nothing. I had to finish my chore for Mattel.”

Laganja’s eyebrows go up and she stops chewing the food in her mouth. Katya shrugs and continues eating.

“And that took all day?”

“Yeah.”

Katya know she’s blushing and tries to hide behind her hair, looking down at her plate. Laganja doesn’t comment again, but when they’re finished and walk back to the dorm together, she follows Katya when she goes outside to smoke.

“Are you and Miss Mattel a thing?” Laganja ask in a conspiratorial tone, standing close to Katya. Katya can’t hide her grin and looks around, then pulls Laganja around the corner to the side of the building where nobody can see them.

“You can’t tell anyone!” Katya whispers urgently, and Laganja does a little jump and claps her hands.

“Oh my God, that is so wrong! I love it!”

They both laugh and keep peeking around if they are still alone, although there is no reason for anyone to be outside right now.

“I am so in love with her Ganj, it’s crazy,” Katya sighs as she pushes her cigarette butt into the strip of grass that runs along the path.

“I can totally see why, she’s gorgeous. I’m into guys, but I can see that,” Laganja says with a hand on her chest. “But you can both get in serious trouble.”  
  
“I know. I don’t want anyone to find out, but I think Dela knows.”  
  
“She’s a quiet one, but she sees and hears everything. Your secret is safe with us, don’t worry. Just… watch out for Vi.”

*

T: I can’t believe yesterday was real.

Katya blinks at her phone, it’s early Sunday morning and she has a little time before she has to get up and get ready for mass.

K: Very real & amazing. Meet up today?

T: I’m visiting my mom after mass, I’ll be gone all day. We have to be careful.

K: I wanna kiss u

T: Stop it.

K: Still some time b4 church. I can come over rn and cuddle.

T: Now? You’ll get caught.

Katya is already out of bed and sneaks out of her room and into the bathroom, pees, brushes her teeth, washes her face and then texts Trixie.

K: Open the door

T: It’s not locked

Katya pushes at the heavy door, and sure enough, it opens with a gentle croak. She locks it and runs on her tiptoes to Trixie’s bedroom. The suite is dark except for the light coming from Trixie’s phone, and she looks up in shock.

“Oh my word, I can’t believe you,” Trixie whispers and giggles. Katya hops on the bed and crawls under the covers, cuddling Trixie’s side and wrapping an arm and leg around her body.

“You’re so warm,” Katya whispers into Trixie’s hair. Trixie turns to her side and kisses the top of Katya’s head.

“Just a sec,” Trixie whispers and gets out of bed. She goes into the bathroom and Katya hears her go through the same routine she just had. Katya waits, spread out in the middle of the big bed, the covers warm and soft and smelling like Trixie.

Trixie comes back quickly and slips under the covers to immediately attack Katya with a long, deep kiss, with cold lips and tasting like toothpaste. Their bodies tangle together and Katya’s hands are all over Trixie’s body, grabbing her ass and caressing her arm and her thighs and her back.

They cuddle for a while, kissing, softly talking, but basically just staring into each other’s eyes the whole time, until Trixie’s alarm goes off. She shuts it down, and then not ten minutes later, Katya’s phone starts beeping with her alarm.

“I better get back now,” Katya says and kisses Trixie again.

“How are you gonna sneak back in?”

“I’ll say I was in the bathroom!” Katya blows a kiss from the doorway and then hurries out of the suite. She listens by the door before opening it a tiny bit - nobody in the hallway. The bathroom is empty and she takes the moment to splash some cold water on her overheated face. Hopefully nobody can tell that she’s been kissed silly and is head over heels.

Back in the room, all the girls are in some state of waking or getting up. Katya doesn’t say anything, just goes to her closet and gets dressed. On their way to the church, Violet comes to walk right beside Katya.

“Where were you this morning?” She asks in a low tone. Katya stares straight ahead at Dela’s ponytail.

“Uhhh sleeping?”

“You left. I saw you.”

“Are you Nancy Drew? I had to take a shit.” Katya gives Violet a look and quickens her pace a little.

*

It takes a while before Trixie and Katya get a chance to be alone again, apart from texting and sneaking kisses when no one’s looking. Katya’s mom tells her she can’t come home during spring break, because she has to work and Katya would just hang around the house alone. Not that it used to be any different, but her mom wants her to stay at the school.

Katya is devastated, until she overhears Mother Cecilia Clare talking to Trixie one day. Katya is very early for class, hoping to talk to Trixie alone, but she halts by the door when she hears voices.

“You seem to get along with her, so I’m asking you to stay here.”

“Ok, well, if there is no other way…”

Katya hears the hesitation in Trixie’s voice, and she immediately knows they’re talking about her. Katya’s mom must have called the head mistress about spring break.

Katya flinches in shock when Mother Cecilia Clare suddenly exits the classroom. She gives Katya a nod and marches down the hallway.

“You have to babysit me during spring break?”   
  
Trixie looks up and sees Katya slowly walking into her classroom. She looks a little unsure, her eyes trained on Trixie’s. Trixie smiles.

“Yeah. Two weeks alone in this place with just the janitors. No mass. How boring.”

Katya can see a glint in Trixie’s eye, and her nerves settle a little.

“I thought you didn’t want to do it. I heard Mother Cecilia Clare…”

Trixie rounds her desk and leans against it.

“I couldn’t be too obvious, of course.” Trixie crosses her arms, she’s in teacher mode. She’s wearing a navy dress and heels today, and Katya suddenly realises that she looks beautiful. She hasn’t been wearing the slacks too often lately.

“You mean, like, suddenly wearing dresses all the time and looking super cute?”

Trixie giggles and looks to the floor, her cheeks turning pink.

“No…” Trixie starts, but then students start filing in and they can’t talk anymore.

The last week before the break seems to take forever, and the girls have a lot of tests to take and projects to turn in. Katya has been doing good, grade-wise, but she still took on an extra project for her French class. She’s cursing herself when she’s in the library until lights out on Thursday, but has finished her essay on Marcel Proust. She turns it in on Friday, then aces her math and chemistry tests, and then the semester is over. Just one to go before she finishes high school for good.

*

On Saturday morning after mass, Katya is outside the front entrance to the main building and says goodbye to her friends. She won’t see them for about two weeks, when they’ll start school again. It will be a good start though, with a spring dance that most girls are looking forward to. The school collaborates with a Catholic boys’ school and they take turns hosting dances and inviting the other school. This spring dance will be hosted by Saint Margaret’s.

Trixie is also at the front entrance, greeting parents and saying goodbye to students. She learns that some of the nuns are also staying behind, meaning that she and Katya won’t totally be alone. But since their dorm is at the end of the building, it shouldn’t be too hard to get some privacy… Trixie hopes.

Since even priests apparently take vacation, there is no mass on Sunday morning. Katya wakes early out if habit, just as the sun starts peeking out. She immediately grabs her phone to text Trixie.

K: Morning cuddle?

There is no reply. Maybe Trixie is still asleep, it’s barely half past seven. Katya gets up and goes to the bathroom to do her business and after a moment of contemplation, brushes her teeth. She stands in the hallway with her phone in her hand - still no answer - and then tries Trixie’s door. It opens.

The suite is completely quiet and dark, and Trixie is still sleeping soundly. Katya sees her phone face down on the floor beside the bed, probably fell off of her nightstand. She feels like a creep, a little bit, and isn’t completely sure if this is the right move, but she walks around the bed and gets in, gently sliding her body behind Trixie’s.

Trixie sighs and smacks her lips, suddenly aware.

“Kat?”

“Yeah. Is this ok?”  
  
“Yeah.”

Trixie is still half asleep, but she nods, and Katya is the big spoon and her heart is bursting with happiness. They both doze off a little, Katya’s face in Trixie’s hair and her arm around her waist, and she wakes up again when Trixie rolls her ass into Katya’s hips.

“Baby,” Trixie whispers. Katya melts when she gives her pet names. “This is so nice, you holding me.”  
  


Katya sighs into Trixie’s hair.

“Mm. I could get used to this.”

“Did you lock the door?”

“Yep.”

Trixie giggles, then turns to her back and stretches. Katya enjoys the view of Trixie’s boobs under the little nightdress she’s wearing. Trixie looks at her with a smirk.

“I’ll be right back.”

She heads into the bathroom for her routine, and then slides back between the sheets, holding Katya to her side with her face against Trixie’s bosom. Trixie strokes her hair gently and they lie like that for a while. Katya props herself up on one elbow and looks down at Trixie’s beautiful, sleepy face.

“I wanna… like… date you. For real.” Katya stumbles over the words a little, fingers trailing along the edge of Trixie’s nightdress.

“I would like that,” Trixie whispers, making Katya look up.

“Yeah?”

Trixie nods. “But we have to wait a little, to make it real.” She uses air quotes on the last word.

“I’ll be eighteen in May,” Katya says quickly.

“Your age doesn’t make you jailbait right now, it’s my position,” Trixie says. She runs her fingers over Katya’s cheek, and explains that althought legal age of consent in Massachusetts is sixteen, big age gaps are frowned upon, and either way it’s illegal for a teacher to touch one of their students.

“So in June, I’ll be eighteen and graduated,” Katya states. Trixie nods.

“And then I can legally eat you out.” Katya grins widely and makes Trixie laugh.

They aren’t worried about showing up together for breakfast, as there is no staff and they have to fend for themselves in the large, industrial kitchen. Katya can hardly believe she’s the only girl still left at school, but she is. All the other parents apparently care enough about their kids to bring them home for their vacation, or even take them somewhere nice. She stares into her bowl of cereal with a sad face.

“Of course your mom cares, Katya. She’s just putting her work first right now.”  
  


“She always does.”

Trixie sighs. “That’s too bad. Have you told her you wanted to come home?”

Katya nods. “But we’re not… talkers. I mean, I said I wanted to come home, but it’s not like I said I missed her. I just didn’t want to spend two weeks in an empty school. Even though I like being here with you.”   
  
Katya’s smile is sad and Trixie slides her hand over the table to squeeze Katya’s arm.

“I like that we have some time together, too, but it’s too bad you and your mom don’t get along. It was like that for me, too.”

“Really? But you still see her now, right?”  
  
“I do, but my mom has Alzheimer’s and she barely knows who I am. So I basically just go there because I feel obligated and to lower my guilt.”

They sit in silence for a while, until Trixie says it’s time to go.

“I actually have some work to do, so… we can meet here again for lunch?”

“Work? It’s spring break!”

“Remember all the tests you had to take and work you turned in last week? I need to grade all of those before the break is over and then prepare my course for the next semester.”

Katya retreats to her room, and after fooling around on her phone for a while, decides to tidy up her part of the room. She’s done most of her homework thanks to her daily detention, so all that’s left to do is read books for her French and English classes.

The rest of the first week goes by pretty much similar - Katya sneaks into Trixie’s bed in the morning, where they cuddle and kiss, they usually eat their meals together, and then hang out in Trixie’s suite in the evening. None of them has initiated sex the whole time, and it makes Trixie a little restless. She wants more, but she’s not sure if Katya wants to. She seems perfectly fine with cuddling and watching movies together and then returning to her own room when she gets tired. It makes Trixie question what’s really going on between them.

On the weekend, Trixie visits her mother, and when she comes back, she sees Katya sitting on a blanket on the lawn. The weather is exceptionally good today and Katya is wearing a dress, allowing the sun to shine on her pale legs. She’s got her earphones in and is reading a book. Trixie lightly kicks the bottom of Katya’s boot with the pointy toe of her pump.

“You’re not actually reading for class during spring break?”  
  
Katya laughs out loud.

“That’s how bored I am. You want some grapes? Sister Bernadette brought them for me. Even the nuns take pity.”

Trixie sits down on the blanket, careful in her pencil skirt, and they share the box of white grapes.

“It’s really nice out, we should go somewhere,” Trixie muses.

“Can we do that? Are you allowed to take me off campus?” Katya sits up and closer to Trixie, she’s excited.

“I don’t think so, but… I also kinda don’t care?” Trixie winks at Katya.

“I’m down!” Katya says immediately, and starts to stuff her book, earphones and phone into her backpack.

Trixie drives a small, sporty convertible, and even though it’s still too chilly to take the top down, they enjoy the soft breeze through the opened windows. They drive for almost an hour, all the way to the coast, where they enter a small beach front town. Katya squeals in excitement when she can see the ocean - well, it’s actually called the Massachusetts Bay, but she’s excited nevertheless. She looks around in awe when Trixie parks her car besides a cute little house that looks like a cottage but is three stories high.

“What’s this?” Katya cranes her neck to look up at the top of the house, with old-fashioned curtains on the bedroom windows.

“This is my parents’ old place. Well, it’s mine now.” Trixie doesn’t go to the front door, but instead goes around the house with Katya in tow, and they enter the garden. It’s right at the beach and Katya gasps.

“Oh my God! This is amazing, why don’t you live here?”

Trixie shrugs.

“I used to, but I got a little lonely. It’s mostly elderly people here, and when I was alone…”

She doesn’t finish the sentence, but looks out over the water with a hand shielding her eyes from the sun. She takes Katya’s hand and they walk onto the beach, Trixie soon taking off her heels. They sit in the sand on Katya’s blanket.

“My parents bought this when my dad retired, but he didn’t get to enjoy it long. He passed away a few years ago. My mom was already sick and when she needed constant care, I had to put her in a home, and then I lived here.” After a moment, she adds, “With Amanda.”

“The girl from the pictures?”

Trixie nods. Katya scoots a little closer to her and leans her shoulder against Trixie’s.

“Wanna tell me how she died?”

Trixie is silent for a long time, and Katya just waits, hoping she hasn’t crossed a line.

“She took her own life.” Trixie’s voice wobbles, and Katya’s head whips around.

“Wow. I’m sorry.”

Trixie just shakes her head and looks at Katya for a short moment, eyes filled with tears. Then she gets up and slowly walks away along the shoreline. Katya watches her from the blanket and decides to give her some space.

Katya falls asleep on the blanket in the sun, and is woken by Trixie a little while later.

“Come inside, it’s getting colder,” Trixie says softly as she pulls Katya’s hair away from her face.

“Are you ok?” Katya asks when they get to the house.

“Yeah. It’s always hard for me to be here, though. I should probably sell it.” Trixie walks around in the kitchen, touching the dusty surfaces with one finger.

“It’s really beautiful here, but if it doesn’t feel right… maybe you need something new.”

“I think I do. But right now, I need some food. How about pizza?”

Trixie drives them back to the city and they stop and eat at a pizza place at the mall not far from the school. When they return to the school grounds, it’s already dark. Trixie says she needs to be alone for a while, and Katya sits in her room and watches YouTube on her laptop until she falls asleep. 


	4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katya gets a surprise visit from her mom, spends a lot of time with Trixie in their second week of spring break, and goes to a school dance for the first time in her life. Trixie decides to tell a friend about their secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hello, it's me, I was having a shit day, and nothing makes me feel better than posting new stuff. So there.   
> Thx to everyone who's reading, leaving kudos and comments, and started following me and talked to me on Tumblr <3

Early Sunday morning, Katya's mom Michelle suddenly announces via text that she's going to be in town, and Katya has to rush through her morning routine to be on time. She hasn't heard from Trixie at all since they said goodbye the previous night.

K: Goodmorning, you ok? Sleep well? My mom is on her way here NOW. I'm gonna be out all day. X

Katya is being picked up in a black SUV with darkened windows, with a driver and a security detail in the front, and a seat next to her mother in the back. Her mother is like the air conditioning in the car - pretty cold.

Katya's mom asks about her grades, and Katya pulls up her current list with an app on her phone - she might be dealing with old-fashioned nuns every day, but the administrative staff have their shit in order. She actually gets some praise from the Senator.

"That looks really good, baby, well done. You didn't get into any trouble apart from that fight?"

Katya shrugs. "Got caught smoking weed, but the teacher didn't report us."

"Geez, Katya." Michelle rolls her eyes.

"It was one time, it's fine."

"You keep telling me you're not a child anymore, but then you go and pull shit like that."

Michelle isn't angry, she's just cold, and it might be worse than angry. Katya doesn't say anything else, just listens to her mother talking about how she can never get a good career if she keeps doing childish things.

"Have you thought about your next step? We were going to apply to colleges before you came here but you never told me what your plan was."

The plan was that Katya didn't know what colleges to apply to, and which path to choose, and that she kinda wanted to talk to her mom about it, but didn't, for fear of being judged.

"I might wanna stay in Boston," Katya says out of the blue. Michelle raises one perfect eyebrow.

"And do what?"  
  
"I don't know, I just like it here."

Conversation is stilted for the rest of the day, forced, like most of their interactions. Katya feels defeated when she comes home early in the evening. She feels that hasn't been able to really connect with her mother, and Trixie hasn't texted her, and now she's back in the empty dorm room with nothing to do. She tries to read yet another book for her English class, way ahead of schedule, but it's prose and she can't focus. She takes a long shower to wash away the day and cry in silence.

After nine, a text comes in.

T: Sorry about last night. Wanna come over?

K: I'll be right there

Katya quickly puts on a pair of jeans that lies around and checks herself in the mirror. She's wearing a large band shirt that she planned to sleep in, her hair is a wet, tangled mess and she isn't wearing any makeup. She tries to fix it a little by kneading some curl cream into her hair, then applies mascara, eyeliner and chapstick to make her lips shiny and soft.

Trixie's door is ajar and Katya shuffles in on bare feet, finding Trixie in the kitchen pouring herself a glass of wine.

"Hey," Katya says, suddenly shy. Trixie smiles, and Katya wants to melt into the floor when she comes over and rubs Katya's arm.

"You want some tea? Or coke?"

"Coke is good." Katya nods, and sits on the couch. She somehow feels awkward, after their trip to Trixie's mother's place, the beach, and talking about her girlfriend who committed suicide.

"You shouldn't be sorry about last night. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone," Katya says in response to Trixie's text. Trixie sighs and sits down, setting a can of coke on the table.

"Maybe you're right, but I kinda felt like I let you down, so... I'm still sorry."

Katya nods again, opens the coke and drinks.

"How was your day with your mom?"

Katya scoffs.

"Awkward. I always feel like we're pretending to be mother and daughter."

"Ah that's too bad. Why do you think that is?"  
  
They sit on the couch, pretty close without touching, Trixie with her wine glass and Katya fumbling with the tab of her can. She shrugs.

"We've always been like this. When I was little, I always hoped that I was actually adopted and that my real mother would come and take me home one day. But she never came, and I actually look like her."

Katya feels tears burning behind her eyes. It's hard to say it out loud, to admit that things are shitty and that they probably always have been.

"Baby." Trixie's voice is soft beside Katya and she comes closer to wrap her arm around Katya's shoulders.

"I just... don't even know who she is," Katya says, looking down at her lap while tears spill over and run down her cheeks. Trixie hugs her close.

"It's shitty between parents and kids sometimes. You just gotta hang on until you're on your own," Trixie says softly, stroking Katya's hair. Katya cuddles into her side and sniffs.

"I know. She asked about college today and I had no idea."

"You haven't applied yet?"

Katya shakes her head, then comes up to look at Trixie, and smiles through her tears.

"But now I'm kinda glad I didn't. Cos I wanna stay here."  
  
"In Boston? Yeah?" Trixie feels her heart hammer in her chest. Katya takes Trixie's hand and holds it to her face.

"If you'd like that."  
  
"I would."

Trixie scoots even closer to Katya, pulling her legs up and leaning over to kiss her gently.

"I would like that very much, but you shouldn't stay on my account," Trixie says, her brown eyes staring into Katya's blue ones, before she closes them to kiss her again. Katya pulls at Trixie's waist to get her closer, sits on her knees on the couch to get a better angle.

"I was thinking, Boston College," Katya says between kisses.

"Mm, what major?" Trixie sucks on Katya's lower lip and then connects their tongues with a little sigh.

"Maybe Art History," Katya whispers into Trixie's mouth.

Trixie moans and then pushes Katya down on the couch to cover her with her body, push her breasts against her and feel Katya's hands on her ass and thighs. Katya opens her eyes to look at Trixie as they kiss, how her eyes are scrunched and her cheeks are pink, her face too close for Katya's eyes to focus. Trixie's wearing jeans and her ass is locked into them, nice and round and firm, almost impossible for Katya to mould the flesh in her hands.

Katya brings her hands to the front and opens Trixie's jeans and pushes her hand inside to feel her ass for real. She's wearing a thong and Katya gets a handful of her skin and it makes her moan into their kiss.

"You feel so good," Trixie whispers against Katya's lips.

"Please, let's get naked," Katya wines, pushing her hips up into Trixie's.

Trixie chuckles and kisses Katya's neck, pulling her shirt away to kiss her throat and collarbone.

"Trix," Katya breathes, her hand still on Trixie's ass cheek. She's trying to push the jeans down, but they are too tight. Trixie grabs Katya's breast through her shirt and massages it. It fits perfectly in her hand, the hard nipple tickling through the thin cotton.

"Trixieeee," Katya whines, squirming under Trixie. Trixie pushes Katya's T-shirt up until she can reach her boobs, and sucks on one little pink nipple. Her nipples are so small and cute, and she goes crazy when Trixie sucks on them. Katya's fingers grab Trixie's ass tight, and she rolls her hips up and down, trying to rub herself on Trixie's thigh.

Trixie teases both of Katya's breasts in turn, massaging them, sucking on the nipples until they're hard and dark pink. Katya's face is flushed and her black hair is a mess. Trixie fumbles with the buttons on Katya's skinny jeans, but then quickly pulls them down. She's wearing red boxers, again, and she pulls those down too, sitting up on the couch to take them all the way off. Katya takes off her shirt and throws it on the floor, and now she's completely naked.

Trixie gets up from the couch and takes off her socks, jeans and blouse under Katya's watchful eye. Katya makes a hissing sound when Trixie's clothes come off. Trixie has the perfect figure, according to Katya - big hips, a big ass, big boobs and a small waist in between. Her belly is mostly flat but has a slight curve under her bellybutton. Her legs are long and shapely, although Katya can't see them right now because Trixie is kneeling on the end of the couch and leaning down to kiss Katya's pussy. She's gonna lick her, and Katya's body is pumped with excitement, and she shivers when Trixie's tongue flicks out and licks over her clit.

Katya shuffles her body back over the couch a little to give Trixie more space, and Trixie pushes her thighs apart and attacks her pussy, like a thirsty cat finding water, latches her mouth on and sucks and licks and Katya is squirming and shuddering and panting. It's like Trixie has all of Katya in her mouth and the sensations are driving her crazy. Katya's arms go up over her head to hold on to the couch, her hips buck, and she digs her fingers into Trixie's hair.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck," Katya pants, pulling at Trixie's blonde locks. Trixie moans into her pussy, her nose on Katya's clit, the soft vibrations of her voice running over Katya's skin like an electric current. She lets go when Katya is a quivering, shaking and sweaty mess, completely incoherent. She licks her clit gently, sweetly, and inserts two fingers in Katya's pussy. Katya hisses and pushes her hips up to encourage Trixie. Her thrusts are deep and slow, her licks gentle, and Katya calms down, almost like she's in a trance.

Then suddenly, Trixie's face is right beside Katya's.

"Baby? Let's go to the bedroom. My legs are cramping up."

Both giggle as they get up, Katya's legs unsteady and her movements sluggish. She lies on the bed and allows Trixie to move her around, her warm, curvy body covering Katya's. They kiss, and Katya can feel her own sticky juices on Trixie's face. She reaches to Trixie's back to undo her bra, then hooks her legs over Trixie's and pushes her to lie down, Katya now on top, running her hands up and down Trixie's body.

"How are you so toned?" Trixie muses, running her hands up and down Katya's arms. Katya grins and buries her face in Trixie's full breasts, pushing them up with her hands and kissing them all over. Trixie hisses when Katya's tonge peeks out and licks a nipple. Trixie's nipples are big and dark, and very receptive to each touch. They stand up and grow hard easily and Katya loves the feel of them.

"I need muscles to deal with all of this," Katya says with her mouth on Trixie's neck, grabbing both her boobs roughly. She can't fit her hands around them and her own breasts get covered completely when she pushes them together. Trixie moans, she likes to be manhandled a little. Katya puts her right hand between Trixie's opened thighs and slides her fingers up and down, gently stroking her lips and clit. Trixie sighs and pulls Katya's face up for a wild kiss, rolling her hips into Katya's hands to increase the pressure.

She's so wet, Katya's fingers slip and slide, flicking her clit without finding a rhythm and it drives Trixie crazy.

"Baby, I need... I need to come..." Trixie huffs out, panting and wiggling underneath Katya.

"Yeah? You left me hanging..." Katya tries to still Trixie's movements with her body, keeping her down.

"Fuck you," Trixie whispers.

"Mmm I like it when you curse." Katya bites Trixie's lower lip, pulling at it a little, and Trixie settles down enough for Katya to really rub her clit.

"Ah yes. Fuck me, Katya," Trixie moans.

"You wanna get fucked?" Katya eggs her on, it's such a turn on to see good girl Miss Mattel use foul language. Trixie nods, her mouth open in a little O when Katya slowly pushes her fingers inside. Trixie is wet enough that Katya doesn't find much resistance. She slides off Trixie's body to watch her, and uses her other hand to tease her clit while her fingers pump in and out.

Trixie grabs Katya's shoulder and holds her close, rolling her hips into her movements, and Katya feels how she starts to shudder while she mewls softly into Katya's ear, her orgasm thrashing through her body.

"Oh my God, oh my God, don't stop," Trixie pants, and Katya keeps her fingers inside Trixie, parting her legs to sit between them and start sucking on her clit.

"OH yes, yes." Trixie feels like she's never going to stop coming, or maybe she's going to come again, she doesn't even know, it's so much and her body can't get enough.

Katya doesn't stop, can't stop, her fingers are pruning inside Trixie and her mouth and chin are wet with her juices. She feels how her own wetness slides down her thighs from just watching this gorgeous woman delirious with pleasure at Katya's hands.

Then Trixie comes again, pushing her hips up hard into Katya's face, pulling her hair to keep her in place, shaking and cursing out loud.

Katya stops then, to look at her, stroking her gently, Trixie's body spasms every time Katya's wet fingers run along her clit. Katya lies beside Trixie and holds her until her breathing slows down, her head on Katya's chest and her arm tight around Katya's waist. Her breathing evens out and she falls asleep, and Katya closes her eyes with a smile on her face.

Katya wakes up a while later, the room completely dark, and she's alone in Trixie's bed. It's still warm, and then she hears the toilet flush in the bathroom and Trixie appears in the doorway.

"Did I wake you?" Trixie whispers as she climbs back into the bed, her body cool against Katya's warm, sleepy one.

"Hmm 's ok. What time is it?"

Trixie's phone screen lights up the room.

"About one."

Katya sits up and rubs her eyes.

"I should probably get back." She yawns and stretches. Trixie pulls her back down and wraps a leg around Katya's.

"Stay. Nobody's going to check."

"Ok."

The cuddle up, and just before Katya sinks back into sleep, Trixie plants a soft little kiss to her temple.

*

Katya and Trixie are pretty much inseparable for the rest of the week, spending time together even while Trixie is working and Katya reads, watches movies or chats to her friends back home. Although most of her friends are busy, or their contact has lessened since Katya moved to Boston. She also researches colleges online, and Trixie is more than happy to help her. Trixie did her double major of English Lit and Art History in Wisconsin, where she's from, but she knows Boston College comes highly recommended.

When they have breakfast in the dining hall on Friday morning, Sister Bernadette approaches them and asks if they want to help prepare for the spring dance. This throws them back into teacher/student interaction, and it proves to be difficult for both of them. They say goodbye on Friday afternoon, knowing some girls will come back soon and they can't hang out anymore.

Katya takes her phone charger, laptop and headphones from Trixie's room and brings them to her own room, and then Trixie brings in the shirt she slept in the previous night, and stands around in the dorm room a little lost.

"I'm gonna miss this," Trixie says, crossing her arms and staring at the floor. Katya sighs.

"Me too. I'm gonna miss you," Katya says and stands close to Trixie, rubbing her hands over her arms. Trixie's eyes are sad when they look into Katya's.

"Just a couple of months," Katya says softly, then kisses Trixie, a gentle, sweet kiss, and Trixie is full of feelings she can't put into words. Not yet.

*

Violet comes back that evening right after dinner, and Jaymie a little later. Their dorm room suddenly feels crowded to Katya, as she listens to their stories and watches them unpack. Violet has a whole new wardrobe with her, even though they all have to wear the exact same thing every day, and Katya is unimpressed with her materialism. Jaymie is all heart-eyes about a boy she met in the Hamptons, where she spent her break at her parents' beach house. Apparently the boy is also from a rich family, goes to the boys school in town and will be attending their spring dance.

Katya sighs. She knows Trixie is sitting alone in her suite, watching TV, or maybe still working, while Katya is bored in her dorm room and has to put up with her roommates. It's not fair, she thinks, but then again... graduation is only four months away, and she will be free. They can be free, and be whatever they wanna be. They just have to make it until then.

Katya tells the girls about applying to Art History at Boston College, and all three of them share their decisions, even Violet joins in2. Jaymie is going into Business Administration and Violet chose to do fashion courses in community college while she pursues a modeling career. It's the first time Katya ever hears her speak of this, but she guesses it makes sense - Violet has modeled before and she is beautiful, and she isn't really interested in anything else.

Laganja and Dela come back on Saturday, as do most of the the other students, and they all attend mass on Sunday, the church almost full. Katya arrives late on purpose, as she agreed on with Trixie via text, and Trixie is already sitting at the last bench alone.

"Hey gorgeous," Katya whispers under her breath when she sits down. Trixie doesn't look at her, but smiles wide.

They share some secret whispers, a little touch here and there, until Katya's meets Laganja's stare. She looks pointedly at both of them and Katya takes some distance from Trixie, and Laganja nods.

After church, Katya stays back until Laganja comes to her.

"That was way too obvious," is the first thing Laganja says, by wrapping an arm around Katya's shoulders.

"Crap, you think someone saw?"

"I know Violet and Jaymie saw it. How was spring break?"   
  
They quickly make their way to the back of the building, but take a turn and go out through a side entrance. Katya lights a cigarette. She has barely smoked during the break, when she was around Trixie so much, and the smoke stings her throat.

"We spent a lot of time together," Katya says with a sly smile. "There were barely any people here, no mass, no nuns. We had a good time." She sighs then, looking a little sad.

"Did you sleep with her?" Laganja whispers, but before Katya can answer, the door to their little hideout opens and Dela steps out.

"You better come back to the room. Violet is telling people you're sleeping with Miss Mattel."

Katya's eyes widen and her heartbeat speeds up, but she's frozen to the ground. Dela puts a hand on her arm.

"It doesn't look like anyone believes her, just Jaymie, but still."

The girls rush back to their room, but Violet and Jaymie aren't there. Katya's phone beeps with a text, it's Trixie.

T: What did you tell your friends? Just had a really awkward conversation with Mother Cecilia Clare!

K: Nothing! Violet saw us at mass.

T: I convinced mother not to question Violet but we should keep distance.

And so, Katya and Trixie keep distance, all week long. Katya doesn't raise her hand in class, Trixie doesn't ask her anything, and they don't acknowledge each other in the dining hall or when Trixie visits their dorm room. Katya has never been such a good student, avoiding all negative interactions with nuns and other students, and she barely talks to her roommates either - especially Violet.

On Saturday afternoon, Sister Bernadette and the Dance Committee are busy setting up for the dance, and Katya goes to help them. She knows Trixie is there, but she can't help it - Jaymie is on the Dance Committee and asked her dorm mates to help out, and they all showed up. They're turning the gym into a party hall, hanging up balloons and garlands, and setting up tables and chairs along the side.

Katya and Dela are busy hanging up a string of garlands together, with Katya on a wobbly ladder and Dela handing her pins and tape, when a group of boys walk in. They're rolling in boxes of musical equipment and carry instrument cases, and the hall quiets down while all the girls stare in awe. These are the cool kids, Katya can tell, and Violet runs through the hall to hug one of them and pull him along - the resemblance is quite striking.

"That's Violet's brother," Dela whispers when Katya comes down the ladder. "He's the singer of the band that's performing tonight."

Katya watches as Trixie welcomes the boys and tells them where to set up their stuff. One of them starts setting up the control panel, while the others start setting up the stage that Trixie and some girls had started on.

After dinner that evening, everyone is in a rush to get ready for the dance. Katya is in a bit of a mood, she doesn't really want to go to the dance. She never used to go to them at her other schools, mostly because she never connected with the other students. She was usually in a group of outcasts who would sit outside the school and smoke weed and drink cheap liquor while the dance was going on inside. On the other hand, she wants to see Trixie all dressed up and tease Jaymie about the boy she likes.

Katya is done with dressing up pretty quickly. She's wearing a short, black dress with flowers over a long-sleeved top made out of netting, back tights and new, patent leather combat boots - the only good thing to come out of the Sunday she spent with her mother. She's made her eyes black and smokey, wears a peach pink lipstick, and has made her curls big and wavy. She sits around and looks at her phone, where nothing is happening, when a vision in green comes up in her periphery - Laganja. She's wearing a glittery gown and her hair in two long braids, and it's very her.

"Hey Katya. Can I bum a cigarette?" Laganja says loudly, and then winks, which nobody but Katya can see. Katya grins and gets up.

They don't actually go outside, but check if the coast is clear and then slip into the basement. Katya gives Laganja a cigarette from her pack and watches as she tears it apart and uses the tobacco to roll a blunt.

"Your timing is so good, I was getting really annoyed with waiting," Katya sighs. Laganja grins.

"You know I got you, girl. It was written all over your face." Laganja lights up and takes two quick drags before giving the blunt to Katya.

"I couldn't listen to any more about Violet's brother and his amazing band, or Jaymie's 'boyfriend'," Laganja says and rolls her eyes.

"I know, it's the worst. And I can't even talk about my 'girlfriend'." Katya uses air quotes like Laganja did.

"What's the deal now? Laying low?"  
  


"Yeah, basically. It seems everytime we interact, Violet is lurking around some corner. We just have to make it through the last months and then... I'm free to do whatever I want."

"What about your mother?"

Katya scoffs and takes a drag. "She wouldn't know what's going on even if I fucked Trixie on her desk while she's working."

Laganja and Katya are pleasantly relaxed and giggly when they join the girls to go to the party. The gym hall is already busy, guys and girls dressed to the nines, and even the nuns have busted out nice outfits for the evening. There are tables with drinks and snacks along the side of the hall and groups of round tables with chairs on one side and a dancefloor on the other.

Katya's breath catches in her throat when she sees Miss Mattel climb the stage once everyone has arrived. She's wearing a peach colored dress, has her hair curled big and even wears a bow that matches her dress, and to finish it off, her legs are bare and she's wearing pumps with high heels. She looks gorgeous and sexy, and at the same time appropriate for a school prom, and Katya stares with her mouth open.

"Guys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Saint Margaret's Spring Dance!" Trixie says into the microphone. The crowd cheers and claps.

"We hope you're enjoying the snacks, the drinks and our decor, let's hear it for the Dance Committee."

More applause follows.

"As always, there is contest for the best dressed couple. Sister Mary will go around with a camera to take your picture and we'll announce the winner at the end of the night. We also have some live music for you tonight. Please welcome to the stage, Joey, Dennis, David, Mick and Peter with their band Happy Days!"

Trixie leaves the stage and the crowd cheers when the boys step on. They're all dressed up in black slacks and colorful jackets with bow ties, and look like they stepped out of a very old high school movie. It turns out the band plays popular, current covers with a twist on the style. Some pop songs have turned country, and R&B songs have turned to rock, dance songs into ballads. The performance is good, Katya enjoys it, but her eyes keep following Trixie around the room. She takes her moment when Trixie steps away from the group of teachers to pour herself a drink. Katya takes a glass and picks up the bottle of juice as Trixie sets it down, deliberately making their hands touch.

"Hey, Katya. Are you enjoying yourself?" She's Miss Mattel now, her smile sweet and polite, but her eyes shining with something more.

"Yeah, the band is good," Katya says and leans over to put the juice bottle back in its place, brushing up against Trixie's side, whispering, "You look amazing."

"Mother Cecilia Clare commented on your outfit," Trixie says in a low voice, wiping at a non existent spot on the table and not looking at Katya. "She said it's inappropriate. I love it."

Katya can't help the giggle that bubbles up in her throat.

"At what time can we sneak out?" Katya asks, looking around the room like they just happen to stand there together, not really into the conversation.

"I can't. I have to host and close when it ends."

"Crap."

A male teacher from the other school approaches them then.

"Miss Mattel, you are a vision tonight," the man says.

"Why, thank you, Mister Dupree." Trixie smiles at him, and winks at Katya shortly.

Mister Dupree has a bit of an accent, and Katya guesses he's French. He takes a little bow and asks Trixie to dance with him, and she accepts. Students cheer and clap when they take the dancefloor to a very fitting, upbeat ballroom version of Just Give Me a Reason by Pink and Nate Ruess.

Jealousy stings Katya's chest, but the longer she looks at them, shamelessly busting out old timey dance moves and singing along, the more she believes it's rehearsed. She's more jealous of his ability to dance with her, out in the open, and his moves, than anything else.

"Don't worry, they do this every year." It's Dela's soft voice beside Katya, and Katya releases a breath.

"Yeah?"  
  
"I think Mister Dupree is gay." Dela bumps Katya's shoulder with her own.

The evening takes entirely too long for Katya, the buzz from the blunt has worn off and she gets tired of mingling and refusing boys asking her to dance. She dances in a circle with Dela and Laganja to kill time, and takes pictures with the girls, one really out of focus because she tries to capture Trixie in the background. But by then, she's really fed up, and tells the girls she's going to sleep. She doesn't see Trixie anywhere, so just sends her a text that she's going to her room.

Just as Katya is on the steps of the entrance, pulling her jacket over her head to shield her from the rain while she walks to the other building, her name is called behind her, and Trixie hurries after her. She steps outside and pushes Katya into the dark corner off to the side and kisses her. Katya is helpless with Trixie so close, smelling great, looking incredible, her soft, warm mouth capturing Katya's, her tongue caressing hers.

"I wanted to do that all evening," Trixie whispers when she breaks the kiss.

"I can't stand it anymore, I have to go," Katya whispers back, one hand grabbing Trixie's full ass, the satin of her dress sliding under her fingers.

Trixie pushes a key into Katya's hand.

"Go to my room. I'll come as soon as I can."

Trixie presses one more lingering kiss to Katya's lips before she leaves. She quickly hides in the ladies bathroom and checks her makeup, fixing her lipstick and hair a little. Her feet are sore and she regrets the shoes, but it was worth the look on Katya's face. Back in the gym hall, it's time for Trixie to announce a break for the band, and introduce the DJ, and she jokes how the old people will also take a break and the dancefloor is all for the kids now.

She sits with Jerome Dupree, one of the boys school's French teachers. He's gay as the day is long, and has been working at the school for a while, so they've seen each other at all the dances and other combined events over the years. They get along well, and have long ago agreed to pull out their flirting gig at every party. They always do the same dance, some free interpretation of a walz or tango, or whatever they both remember from their high school ballroom class.

"J, can I talk to you for real?" Trixie asks him when two of his colleagues finally leave their table. Trixie has taken off her shoes and wiggles her toes.

"I think it would be too much if you ask me to massage your feet," Jerome says with a pointed look, and Trixie laughs.

"No. I've been seeing someone." She scoots her chair closer to him.

"Yeah, that accountant, right?" Trixie shakes her head. "A new someone?" Jerome leans in and whispers, "A he or a she?"

"She. But it's... it's not legal." Trixie's voice is barely audible, whispering directly into his ear. He leans back and looks at her, shocked.

"Trix."

She bites her lip and keeps his stare.

"No."

Trixie nods. Jerome looks around and changes the position of his chair, so that he's now leaning towards her and all up in her face.

"Trixie, seriously. What are you thinking?"

"I'm in love, J."

She feels emotion wash over her and takes a deep breath to suppress it.

"That bad?" He asks. She nods.

"Very bad."

Jerome hears how her voice nearly breaks, and he puts a hand on hers.

"Well, fuck," he sighs. "Where is she now?"

"In my room. She couldn't handle this." Trixie waves her hand at the party going on around them. She's glad the music is loud and most of the kids are caught up in either dancing or sneaking around, which gives most of the teachers something to do, as well.

"Please be careful. Please." Jerome squeezes her hand. "Are you sure about her?"

"She chased me."

Jerome can't help but laugh.

"I swear, it was so cute. I couldn't resist. And now I'm fucked."

 


	5. Honor your father and your mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The spring dance at St. Margaret's puts several girls in interesting positions... Katya and Trixie are forced to put their relationship on hold while the school year continues, and Violet has a crisis of her own. 
> 
>  
> 
> **SPOILER**  
>  **Warning: mentions of eating disorder, passing out, ambulance***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**[Trixie voice] "YOU GUYS! It's the last episode..."** _
> 
> Thx everybody for reading and kudos and comments... you are all amazing babes and I love you. I love this website, and I loving coming here and posting stuff. It feels like we're a little family <3 This is my happy place!
> 
> PS #TEAMTRIXIE but also #teameveryone because they are all amazing.
> 
> PPS Where do you see our leading ladies go after this? Any ideas for a part 2?

It’s almost midnight when Trixie walks through the hallways on bare feet, shoes in hand. She hears some laughter and whispering from the girls and the door to their room is open a crack. She finds Dela and Laganja sitting on Dela’s bed, looking at their phones, still dressed up.

“Hey, ladies. Time for bed? Where are your friends?”

Both shrug and look innocent.

“Ok, well. If anyone asks, we didn’t see each other.” Trixie winks and closes the door behind her, then goes to her own room. There’s one small light on in her living room and soft music is playing, but Katya isn’t there. Trixie goes into the bedroom, where there’s also just one light on, and Katya is on the bed, on top of the covers, still fully dressed and deep in sleep. Trixie looks at her for a moment and smiles and her heart aches a little. Katya is still just a young girl, with all her sass and her maturity and her cool clothes and unwillingness to follow trends other teenagers jump on. She’s still just a girl, and the evening was too long and boring for her.

Trixie crawls on the bed and lies beside her, poking her face with a finger, caressing her cheek and pinching her nose. Katya frowns and mumbles something, and then her eyes fly open and she’s awake. She sits up and looks around.

“Ah shit, I fell asleep.” Her voice is thick and she looks disappointed.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Well, yes. I wanted to make it all romantic here and wait for you in my sexy underwear, and-”   
  


Katya’s words are interrupted by a big yawn and it makes Trixie laugh.

“That’s ok, baby. I’m also tired.”  
  
Trixie gets off the bed to undress unceremoniously, and puts on her sleep shirt.

“Ok, yeah. Well. Then I should get back.”

Katya drags her body from the bed and starts to put on her shoes.

“You can stay,” Trixie offers with a little shrug. Katya looks at her, unsure.

“The girls will know.”  
  
“I don’t think you’re the only one who’s missing right now.” Trixie winks, and Katya’s mouth falls open.

“OH! Was Jaymie missing? I bet she ran off with that guy.” Katya giggles.

“What guy? Don’t tell me I need to go looking now?”

Trixie stands by the bed with her arms planted on her hips, while Katya undresses to her panties and gets under the covers. She assures Trixie there’s nothing she has to do, Jaymie is fine, Violet is probably with them, and her brother, and they’re probably in the basement drinking whisky.

*

The morning after the party, Violet wakes up with a serious headache after only a few hours of sleep. She drags her tired body out of her bed and to the bathroom. She contemplates for a moment if she should try to throw up, but then decides that whisky probably isn’t all that fattening.

Even though the sun is brightly shining outside, the room is dark, and it smells bad when Violet gets back. She goes to the opposite side of the room, where Dela is still asleep, to open a window. Someone complains about the bright light, and that is the moment Violet realises there’s an extra person in their room - a person who is not usually there. It’s Mike, from her brother Peter’s band, and he’s sleeping on top of Jaymie’s covers in his suit, and he’s being her big spoon. He’s shielding his face from the sunlight coming through the curtain Violet pushed open.

“Oh my fucking God, Mike! You can’t be in here!” Violet whispers loudly and smacks his leg. He’s even still wearing his shoes and bowtie.

“What the hell,” he murmurs and turns around, only to fall from the bed to the floor with a smack, and then everyone is awake and chaos ensues.

“Oh my God! Jaymie!” Laganja gets up from her bed and rushes to their door to lock it.

“I’m sorry, it was so late, I don’t know what happened,” says Jaymie. She sits up in bed, her hair a mess on top of her head, her updo still half in place and her makeup smeared all over. She’s still wearing her dress, as well.

“Mike, you have to get out of here!”

“Shit, what’s the time.”

“I am using the bathroom first!”

“Why the hell didn’t my alarm go off?” Laganja picks up her phone and sees it hasn’t charged overnight, even though it was plugged in. The she sees the display of Jaymie’s old fashioned electric alarm clock and it’s blacked out.

“You guys, the electricity is out.” Laganja tries the light switch and nothing happens. “That’s why our alarms didn’t go off and our phones haven’t charged.”  
  
Violet checks her phone, it’s dead, and so is Dela’s.

In between all of this, Mike is still sitting on the floor, rubbing his eyes and feeling his head split in two with a massive hangover. The girls usher him out through the side entrance, after checking if the coast is clear, and he takes off running.

They all get dressed on top speed, still having no idea what the time is and hoping they can still get breakfast, even though they all wonder if anyone in the school is going to be on time.

The four girls are in the halfway, mostly decently dressed, when Jaymie says, “Where’s Katya?”

Dela and Laganja share a look, and Violet steps between them, looking from one to the other. Laganja tries to set her face to stone and says, “Don’t know, don’t care. Let’s hurry the fuck up.”

During breakfast, the girls find out it was just their wing that has no electricity, and it’s being fixed right then. There are two other dorms arriving late and disheveled.

“Miss Mattel also overslept,” Jaymie says with a nod at the teacher’s table. Violet gives Dela and Laganja a pointed stare. Laganja just stares back.

“Did Miss Mattel and Katya leave together?” Violet asks, looking at all of them one by one. Jaymie looks shocked, Laganja still stays silent.

“I didn’t see them. But if they did, so what? I support it,” Dela says and shrugs, chewing on a mouthful of cereal.

Violet gets up from her chair and slowly makes her way to the front of the dining hall, then sits down in the empty spot that Sister Bernadette just vacated next to Mother Cecilia Clare.

Laganja watches her from their table.

“Dela.”  
  
“Hmm.”  
  
“Where’s your phone?”

“At the room. Empty, remember?”

“Dela, look.”

Laganja gets up from her seat and urgently pushes at Dela’s shoulder. Violet is talking to the Mother, and the Mother takes out her phone and checks for messages. Then she pats Violet’s shoulder and gets up from her chair and makes her way out of the dining room.

Laganja reaches Violet before she can walk away.

“What did you just do?”

Violet smiles and shrugs. “Little sluts always get what they deserve.”

Laganja and Dela look at each other - Violet has told the Mother something about Katya and Miss Mattel, and now she’s probably on her way there.

The girls run through the halls and catch up with her.

“Distract her,” Laganja whispers, and takes another route.

Dela walks up to Mother Cecilia Clare and starts asking questions. About the weather, the party, her grades, and she makes a point of walking slowly and trying to stop entirely.

Laganja runs through a hallway that leads to another dorm, takes a side exit, and runs around the building until she ends up in the parking lot. She takes a hand of gravel and throws little stones at Miss Mattel’s windows. She’s not sure which windows are the bedroom, but no answer is coming. She then wriggles herself through the trees and bushes until she stands on the little terrace, and she sees the living room on the left and windows with curtains on the right - the bedroom. She knocks on the window and doesn’t stop until the curtain opens and Miss Mattel’s sleepy face appears. She unlocks the door and opens it, holding the curtain closed behind her.

“Miss Mattel,” Laganja is out of breath and can hardly speak. “Violet, Mother…”  
  
“Laganja, what is going on?”

“Ganj?” Katya comes up and under the curtain and Trixie is a little shocked.

“Violet ratted you out. The Mother is coming,” Laganja finally manages to say.

Just then, Mother Cecilia Clare tries to open Trixie’s door. It’s locked, which it never is, and the Mother feels a sense of disappointment. She knocks loudly and listens close. She knocks again, and calls, “Miss Mattel!”, right as the lock is being turned and Trixie appears in the doorway, looking sleepy and wearing a robe.

“Mother, hello, I overslept, I’m so sorry,” Trixie starts rambling, but the Mother gives her a stern look and enters her suite, walking around it with big, fast steps. She walks around the room, checks the kitchen and then walks into the bedroom.

“What’s going on?” Trixie trails after her. When she opens the bathroom door, Trixie’s losing her sense of decorum.

“Mother Cecilia, is this an inspection? What are you doing here?”

Mother Cecilia Clare regards her with her normal icy look, but there is confusion as well.

“I do not appreciate tardiness, Miss Mattel.”  
  
“I know, I’m sorry. My alarm clock broke, or something,” Trixie says, exasperated, waving her hand at the electric clock on her nightstand. The display is still black.

“There is a blackout on this side of the building. I hope you can manage to make it to mass.”

Mother Cecilia Clare gives Trixie a long stare and then leaves.

Violet and Jaymie are in the hallway, and quickly duck away from the doorway when the Mother comes back. She ignores them as she marches through the hall.

Trixie opens the terrace door and Katya steps from behind the shrubbery and bushes and comes back inside. By this time, Laganja and Dela are already back at the dining hall. Katya hugs Trixie and then quickly leaves.

Back in her room, Katya is happy that it’s empty as she quickly changes and puts her hair up in a ponytail. She takes a minute to wash her face and then bolts out again. She makes it to the church with little time to spare, and sits with Dela and Laganja. She ignores Violet on the bench in front of her, and Trixie on the front bench next to Mother Cecilia Clare. In fact, Katya ignores everyone around her, and stares up at the big wooden cross with the copper Jesus figure that hangs high up the church wall and looks down on them. She squeezes Dela’s and Laganja’s hands beside her and closes her eyes as the sermon begins.

*

On Monday morning during break, Katya sees a text from her mom.

M: Why is your principal asking me to call her back?

Katya sighs.

K: Don’t know. She didn’t tell me.

Immediately after the message has been read, her phone starts ringing.

“What’s going on?” Michelle says by way of greeting.

“Hi, Mom. I don’t know why she called you.”

“Are you sure? You didn’t get in any trouble lately?” Michelle asks, stretching out the a on ‘any’.

Katya hesitates for a second, and that gives her mom plenty of proof.

“Out with it, Katya. I don’t want to look a fool when she calls me again.”

“There was some girl spreading rumours about me. It’s all good. There is nothing going on, I didn’t get called to her office or anything.”

“What sort of rumours?” Katya can hear Michelle is walking now, and a little later she gets into a car.

“Just like… she had told Mother Cecilia Clare that I was… that I slept with someone.”

It’s silent for a moment. Katya is outside on the steps to the dining hall entrance and smokes.

“With who? Is that true?”

“Oh my God. Mom…”

“Answer me.”

“They didn’t catch us. It hasn’t happened again. I think I’m good.”

Michelle sighs. “Is it one of the girls there?”

Katya’s breath freezes in shock. She has never discussed her sexual orientation with her mother - they hardly even discuss breakfast. Michelle doesn't wait for her answer.

“Look, I know you like girls, that’s fine. If that’s the reason the principal is after you, that’s not right.” Michelle’s tone softens while she says this.

“I… well… I don’t know if that’s why.”

“So there’s a girl?”

“Maybe.”

“Ok, honey. I’ll wait if she calls me again, and I’ll give her a piece of my mind. If that school is homophobic, I’m taking you out of there.”

“Mom, no! It’s ok. It’s just a few more months.”

Katya paces the gravel floor of the empty terrace outside the dining hall now, and she feels her throat closing with emotion.

“I think it will be ok, mom. Just… leave it, ok?”

“Ok, if that’s what you want. Just know that I’m not upset that you’re seeing someone, ok? Just stick to the rules and behave.”

Katya almost misses her next class because her mind is a jumbled mess and she walks to the wrong building. In one conversation, she’s come out as a lesbian to her mother, admitted that she’s seeing someone, and sort of admitted that she’s been sexually active. She’s hardly able to focus for the rest of the day, and when her last class ends, she makes a decision and walks towards Mother Cecilia Clare’s office.

The door is always open, but Katya still knocks on it as she stands in the doorway.

“Yes?” The Mother stares at her from over the rim of her glasses.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?” Katya closes the door and walks up to her desk, shaking in her uniform, her hands clasped together in front of her. Mother Cecilia Clare nods at a chair in front of the desk, and Katya sits down on the very edge.

“I want to tell you about me and Violet. We’ve had issues, but I’m trying to make it better.”

“Ok. What are the issues?”

Katya swallows. Here goes nothing.

“Violet and I… we got off on the wrong foot. She… I told her I am a lesbian. She wanted to… maybe date me, I don’t know. And I said no.”

Katya stares wide-eyed at the principal.

“Oh, a romantic issue, then?” Mother Cecilia Clare takes her glasses off and leans her arms on her desk. Katya nods.

“And what role does Miss Mattel play in this?”

“We get along. She helped me fit in here. Violet… she’s just jealous. And I’m sorry about that, but I can’t really help it. I just try to… stay out of her way.” Katya shrugs.

She’s outright lying to the highest ranking person in the school, and practically the only person who can make or break her life right now.

“Well, Katya, as a servant of the Lord, I can’t say I approve of the path you’ve chosen.” The Mother folds her hands and Katya’s mouth is dry. Her heart is racing.

“But that is really not up to me. I am here to guide you on your academic path, and I hope you will focus on that for now. I can see your issue with Miss Chachki is complicated, but it has no place in this school. Do you understand?”

Katya nods.

“Alright. Thank you for coming to me with this.”

Katya leaves quickly and almost runs to the nearest bathroom to run cold water over her hands, wrists and face, and drinks to make her throat less dry.

*

In the weeks that follow after the spring dance, tension is high in the dorm room that Trixie parents. She can see it every time she the are girls together, and she can feel it in her classroom. It’s a natural part of growing up, to figure out social relationships and how to deal with them, but Trixie feels like she’s a part of it now, in a way that makes her uncomfortable. She feels responsible for Katya and Violet’s issues and feels sorry for the other three girls in the room, but she doesn’t see how she can do anything about it.

Katya seems to take it in stride. She’s often seething internally when Violet makes an indirect hateful remark about Miss Mattel, lesbians in general or ‘teachers who can’t keep their hands off of students’. Katya usually finds support in Laganja and Dela, who both have a calming effect by just giving her a look or making an excuse for them to leave the room. They take her outside and let her vent, or just completely ignore Violet. Jaymie doesn’t seem to understand what anyone’s problem is, and she usually gives Violet dumb answers that only frustrate her.

One early morning at the end of April, when spring seems to be really on its way, Katya wakes up from a stream of sunlight that’s shining through the curtain. It’s not even six, and she wants to go back to sleep but feels her bladder complaining. She leaves the room in a sleepy daze, not bothering to wear anything over her sleep shirt and panties.

The door to the bathroom is locked, and Katya realises Violet wasn’t in her bed. She knocks on the door.

“Violet? Are you almost done?” She calls out softly, but there is no answer. Katya waits in the hallway, bouncing on her tiptoes on the cold floor, but there doesn’t seem to be any movement in the bathroom. She knocks and calls again, but it’s completely silent. She gets down on her knees and tries to see under the door. The light inside is on, and all she sees is part of a foot, but it’s in a strange position. Katya dashes back into the room and rummages through her bag as quietly as possible, coming up with a small coin. She uses it to turn the lock on the bathroom and open the door. Violet is on the floor, seemingly unconscious and her lips and fingers have turned blue.

“Violet? Vi! Vi, wake up!” Katya pats her cheek, but Violet’s head just rolls back. Katya takes Violet’s wrist between her fingers like she’s learned in First Aid class in her former high school, and she finds her pulse.

There’s vomit in the toilet. Violet is pale and thin. It looks like she’s been there a while. Katya’s mind connects the dots and she tries Trixie’s door, sighing with relief when it opens.

“Trixie? Trix, wake up,” Katya walks into Trixie’s bedroom and touches her shoulder.

“What? Katya?” Trixie sits up and stares at her with bleary eyes. “What’s going on?”

“Violet passed out in the bathroom, please come.”

“Oh my God.” Trixie gets up from her bed immediately and puts on a robe and slippers and they run back out. She also tries to call on Violet and searches for a pulse.

“Get the duvet from her bed, Kat, and her pillow,” Trixie says urgently while she takes her phone and calls 911. The other girls wake up with all the ruckus and storm out to see what’s going on. Trixie quickly gives everyone a task.

“Dela, go wake up Mother Cecilia Clare and tell her to come here. Jaymie and Laganja, get dressed and go outside to point out at the ambulance where it needs to go, this side entrance here. Katya, put on some clothes and get your phone.”

Everybody moves in a rush, and then it’s just Trixie and Violet in the bathroom. The vomit smells, although it’s not much, but they doesn’t flush it in case the EMTs want to know about it, so Trixie just closes the lid. She also doesn’t want to move Violet, but she does put her head in a more natural position and makes sure it’s turned sideways, so nothing is blocking her airway or mouth.

Katya returns with a pillow and blankets and her phone, while Trixie has the 911 operator on speaker to talk her through her actions. The operator stays on the line until the ambulance arrives, which is why Trixie uses Katya’s phone to call Violet’s parents.

Katya’s heart is racing the whole time, and it jumps painfully when she hears the siren across the street. The ambulance rushes over the gravel and the EMTs run inside while Jaymie holds the door for them. Katya still hasn’t been to the bathroom. Her head is spinning and she’s shaking all over.

“M-Miss Mattel? Can I use your bathroom real quick?” She asks Trixie while the EMTs inspect Violet.

“Yes, baby. Go.” Trixie touches Katya’s cheek for a moment and then turns her attention to Violet, Mother Cecilia Clare and Dela by her side. One of the EMTs talks loudly to Violet and mentions her name constantly while telling her what he’s doing, he checks her eyes and sticks a gloved finger down her throat. The other gently feels all over her legs, hips and arms to see if she broke anything.

Dela starts crying and Trixie puts and arm around her. They all stand in the hallway when the EMTs put Violet on the stretcher and roll it out to the ambulance, and Trixie calls her parents again to tell them which hospital she’s being transported to.

It all must have taken less than half an hour, but it felt like much longer. Trixie offers all the girls tea in her suite, and they sit quietly on her couch and chairs while she makes it, even Mother Cecilia Clare stays. She stands by the armchair where Katya is curled up on, she’s still shaking and stares at the table. The Mother takes a blanket that Trixie has decoratively thrown over the side of the couch and puts it over Katya, who then blinks and stares up at her.

“You did well, child. I think you are going through shock. Take it easy, ok? Take deep breaths.”

Katya nods. She has never seen the Mother smile at her before. She breathes with her, and all the girls watch and do the same, and slowly they calm down, sitting in silence.

Mother Cecilia Clare and Miss Mattel talk in hushed tones out in the hallway, and when Trixie comes back she puts down mugs of tea for everyone.

“Girls, I’m so proud of you. You did an awesome job.”

“What’s gonna happen now?” Jaymie wonders, her eyes big and dried up tears on her cheeks.

“They’re going to examine her and see why she passed out. Her lips and fingers had turned blue, so I think she’s hypothermic. They’ll have to warm her up a little. Are you cold?” Trixie asks Laganja, who’s sitting next to her on the couch, and she nods.

“It’s the shock and the adrenaline that makes you shaky and cold now. Try to calm your breaths and drink the tea.”

*

Violet doesn’t return to the school and doesn’t graduate with the other girls. Her mother visits them, a beautiful older version of Violet. She thanks the girls and explains to them that Violet had been struggling with an eating disorder for a while. She was dehydrated, underfed, and had no resources left in her body when she collapsed. They decided to take her out of school and let her go to a special clinic where she can get the help she needs. The girls all write her a letter or card right on the spot and give it to Mrs. Chachki to take to Violet.

*

Katya looks at herself in the long mirror on the door of her closet. Her hair is curled and blowdried to perfection, thanks to Laganja. Her makeup is flawless and natural. She’s wearing a brand new, black dress, a little above the knee but perfectly proper, and open-toed high heels with an ankle strap. She had let Laganja and Jaymie talk her into getting manicures and pedicures together a few days ago, and now she’s glad she did it. It was a fun activity with her roommates, and now the nails of her toes and fingers look are bright red and beautiful.

The red on her nails and lips also fits well with the dark blue and gold robe she puts on next. She’s a little sad it’s going to hide her dress, but she can take it off after the ceremony. She carefully zips up the robe and then puts the cap on her head, making sure to turn the tassel in the right direction.

“Wow.”   
  
Katya quickly turns when she hears a voice, and Miss Mattel enters the dorm room.

“Look at you,” she says softly and stands beside Katya as she turns back to the mirror, her smile so big her cheeks hurt.

“I made it,” Katya says proudly.

“You sure did. I’m proud of you.” Trixie hugs her close and presses a little kiss to the side of her head. Katya stares at her through the mirror.

“I wanna kiss you so bad.”

Trixie meets her stare and bites her lip with a grin.

“Not yet.”

“It’s been way too long.”

“I know.”

“Just…”

Trixie turns to her so they’re face to face, and checks her clothes once more.

“You’ll ruin your lipstick.”

“I can do it again.”

Trixie giggles softly, then gaps when she feels Katya’s hands on her waist, pushing her against the closed wardrobe door.

“I want you so bad,” Katya whispers, her mouth by Trixie’s ear.

“Baby,” Trixie moans, her skin heating up instantly.

“Please,” Katya breathes, her lips now nearly touching Trixie’s. The kiss is gentle, careful, and way too short, and they have barely let go when there’s loud laughter and steps in the hallway.

The rest of the day passes in a daze. Katya can’t believe her mother actually showed up, and there’s a man by her side - well, there are several, but one of them isn’t wearing a security V on his jacket. She knew her mom was dating someone as of recent, but she hadn’t expected him to show up at the high school graduation of a kid he’d never met. He seems nice enough, and now that her mom is actually planning to run for office, it’s good that she has someone by her side. She seems to defrost a little, already.

Before Katya really knows what’s happening, she’s the last one of her year to take her graduation roll - there is no one else who’s last name starts with a Z - and they’re all tossing their hats into the air.

She looks at Trixie, who’s standing on the podium between the nuns, and she blows a kiss to Katya.

Katya did it. She survived Catholic boarding school, and she feels a weight has lifted off of her shoulders. She’s ready for what’s next, and so is Trixie.

 


	6. PSA on the themes in this story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not a chapter, it's a PSA which I'm also adding at the start of this story. I'm uploading this as a chapter because it's very important to me that you all read this. So, if you like this story and fanfiction in general, please give me a moment of your time and read this note.

Hi!

I apologize that you got an update for a new chapter, while there is no chapter at all, but it’s important to me that you read this note. In the last two days, I’ve been the target of some hate messages on Tumblr, and this story has been at the center of it. One of the people criticizing this story was open to talk to me and she made me realize I should write this note.

This story has triggered people to call me a pedophile, and a lot of other nasty things. Earlier this week I uploaded some drabble / unfinished WIPs that I know I won’t finish but still wanted to share. One of them takes place in a prison, and that was what brought on the first post I saw condemning both stories. 

As you might know, Loving Katya is based on a movie, which a lesbian writer/director came up with. The actress was of course not underage, almost didn’t pass for a minor either, but it was implied that she was, as she was in her last year of high school. I watched the movie after two friends asked me to ‘rewrite’ it because they felt the plot had too many holes. It’s basically a love story between two people who met at the wrong time and in the wrong place. I changed a lot of things, but tried to follow the original storyline. 

I don’t usually write teens fics because it doesn’t interest me as much as mature relationships. I also didn’t expect anyone to take offense because it was meant as a joke / parody - I plagiarized about 1/3 of the movie. So I assumed, wrongly, that people would understand my intention and read it with that in mind. 

I want to share my thought process on why I think the original movie or my story can’t be labeled as being pedophilic. This word isn’t something that should be used lightly, and I want to share the basic definition for anyone who might not be aware of it: ‘Pedophilia’ is generally explained by experts as an interest in ‘prepubescent’ children. Meaning 0-14, but more often 10-14 years of age. Regardless of the actual age of a child, a pedophile is not interested in a young woman / man, but a child without mature features. In my story, Katya looks and acts older than she is, which wouldn’t make her interesting to Trixie if she had pedophilic tendencies. 

Secondary to that, there is no abuse. Everything is consensual and, like in the movie, the student takes most of the initiative. I made the student only 3 months away from turning 18, which makes her ‘legal’. Both of the characters know that what they are doing is wrong and then put a halt to it until after the girl graduates. 

What I failed to see when I wrote it, was the fact that even though Katya was of legal age, the age gap was still way too big for a 17 year old. But even if I’d made the teacher younger (which I didn’t do for the sake of the original storyline), there was another factor that I didn’t regard, and that’s power dynamics. Meaning, a person in a position of power over another person, should never engage in anything romantic or sexual with someone who is under their power. This goes for any situation: an employer, a doctor, any other type of caregiver - basically when they get to decide things about someone, they should not engage in romance / sex with that person because of the power balance. 

On this topic, I again assumed that readers would understand that this is fiction and it’s not something that should happen in real life. People have accused me of being irresponsible towards the young readers on the fanfic platforms by sharing this story with them. I know that many of you are young, possibly underage, probably not ‘allowed’ to read this, but I don’t want to shut out anyone. Everybody’s sexuality matures at different times, may it be at 15 or 26, or maybe you will realize at 31 that you are not into it at all. And even if you’re not ready to engage yet, I encourage young people to explore their sexuality in other ways, for example by reading fanfiction, watching shows that involve romance and relationships and so on. In our heteronormative society, we don’t always get a chance to see the kind of relationships we might be interested in - especially if you’re young and maybe not sure yet which box to place yourself in. In that way, fiction can be helpful to explore romance without engaging in it yourself. Mainstream media still does a bad job of portraying LGBTQ relationships.

**But I need you to understand that I do not condone the relationship in this story.** It is NOT OK for teachers to seek romance with their students. It happens often that teens get romantic feelings for teachers or other people in authoritative places, but that doesn’t make it right. The fact that everything Katya did in the story was consensual, and was sought out by her, does not make it ok for Trixie to answer to it. Trixie as the teacher has a power over Katya, which makes it impossible for them to ever be equal - so the consent loses its value. Even if Katya took the first step and was very blunt in her persuasion of Trixie.

So the parts that were criticized are: an adult having sexual relations with a minor, the age gap is too big, the power play and sharing this story with younger readers who might then think it’s ok to engage in romance with their teachers. I really want to believe that all of you are are smart enough to know that it’s not ok, but here we are. 

Another point that was brought up was whether or not we should write about certain kinks. Let me make this very clear:  **pedophilia is not a kink** . It’s a crime, it’s largely seen as an illness, and it should never be accepted. Power play and age play / age gap however, can be seen as kinks - although again, this is about  **consenting adults** , which means 18 and up. 

On the other hand, trying to police fanfiction topics / kinks / tropes / ships etc. is defying the whole purpose of fanfiction. Fanfiction gets a lot of shit for touching on taboo topics, but that’s exactly what it’s for. It’s partly for people whose thoughts and feelings don’t fly in the normative society, and so they get to live their fantasies through fiction. It’s always been on the fringe of things, and there is a great diversity of different topics that fanfic touches on, much more so than in mainstream fiction. Some people write to process their own feelings and struggles, and in that way it’s therapeutic to them to get it all out. Some people use fanfiction to live out their fantasies, and it doesn’t mean they actually do those things in real life. **A writer is not their story** . We can write kinks just because it’s fun to write them, or to deliver an underlying message, or because we don’t want to live out that kink in real life. I am not straight, but I have only dated men, and right now I’m not attracted to anyone at all. Yet I’ve written WLW romance for fun and people enjoyed it, which has always been my only goal.  

I think there should be a place for all kinks in fanfiction, may it be power play or piss or humiliation or furries, or whatever people come up with. We should respect people’s kinks. It’s not our business what they do in their daily life - taking into account that they are consenting adults - but again, pedophilia is not a kink.

**Minors reading fanfic are not the writer’s responsibility.** We tag, we put disclaimers, we can write long author's notes, but teens will find it and they will read it. The argument of people being offended by fanfic is not valid. If they chose to read it, that’s on them. If I come across a kink I don’t like, I will just leave. No need to condemn the author and all their readers for liking what they like. Nobody took offense in the adultery Trixie did in one of my others stories, but I don’t expect all of them to condone it in real life. 

People are angry, they are offended and they don’t like it. All of that is valid, these are their feelings and I respect them. But you can have different opinions and still be civil about it. Calling people names, ganging up on someone and refusing a conversation is not constructive. If you want people to see your point, you should find a way to engage and not just throw insults at them. That’s why I initially got really angry when someone ‘vague posted’ about me and suggested I shouldn’t be allowed to write. It bothers me that this person chose to not talk to me directly, but instead threw some negativity onto their dashboard. I was hurt and lashed out, which of course was stupid (I did exactly what I just said wasn’t right) because that brought on a real shit storm.

I hope you have read all of this note and understand why I had to write it. I want to show that although I don’t agree with all of the points I’ve been criticized on, I see now why people got upset - and I only got to learn and grow because there was one lovely person nice enough to have a conversation with me. 

Thanks for reading! 

Chantie


End file.
